If you have a child playing sports, enjoy every moment.
This is a difficult time for me.
I get antsy during the last weeks of summer, anticipating the beginning of another high school sports year.
But then the kids report back to school, the season gets into full swing, and I have an emotional letdown, simply because I no longer have a personal stake in what happens on the field, the court or in the pool.
In many ways, I was the ultimate athlete's parent. Three kids, nine sports, 12 years overall and 18 varsity seasons, and I never missed an event, home or away.
I can get in my car right now and drive to Birmingham Groves, Portage Northern, Ann Arbor Pioneer or Lansing Eastern without consulting a map.
Gayle and I were captain's parents for six different seasons...three different sports...which meant we booked rooms, made signs, arranged car pools, ordered tickets and hosted post-meet parties for the better part of 10 years.
And I'd go back to day one and start all over again.
I still love high school sports, but it's not the same when your kids aren't involved.
When the kids left home...one by one...it took some serious getting used to. I bawled like a baby when I watched Chris walk into his Michigan State dorm room that first day nine years ago.
I did again three years later when Matt walked through that same door, and then I really lost it two years ago when Heather left. It was hard. I moped around for a week, walking into each empty room in turn and sitting on the bed remembering...and wis hing there was some way I could keep them with me forever.
A Wonderful Opportunity
Eventually, it dawned on me that I couldn't, that part of being a parent is knowing when to let them go off on their own. It didn't make it any easier, but it made some sense, and that gave me a bit of consolation.
If you have kids playing, I hope you will understand what is unfolding before you: A wonderful opportunity to share some of the best experiences your kids will ever have. There are only two words you need to know about being the parent of an athlete: BE THERE!
Even if you have no athletic background at all, that's pretty easy to understand.
Be there.
Kids don't need coaches in the stands. They have people on the sidelines to make the decisions on playing time and game strategy. And they don't need critics either. If you are perfect, fire away. But if you are like the rest of us mortals, respect the commitment and the effort, which in the long run will mean a lot more than post-game statistics anyway.
What your kids need are parents who will make time for them, who will show an interest in what they are doing. They need somebody to celebrate with them, or to pick them up when the kick goes wide, the free throw clangs off the rim, or the other team i s just that much better.
High school sports are not about winning and losing. This is a hard concept to get across, because winning will always be the ultimate goal. But for kids...and don't forget for a minute that these ARE kids...the playing, the practicing, the sacrificin g, the simple act of trying will have far more impact on their lives than their final won-lost record.
What To Say After Game
Somebody once asked me what a parent should say to an athlete whose team has just lost a big game. That's an easy one, because it's the same thing you say to an athlete whose team has just won a big game. "Nice job. I'm proud of you."
I loved sitting in the wind and cold to watch Heather play softball, and in the muggy, chlorine-scented heat at the pool watching Chris and Matt swim and play water polo. If you have kids playing this year, I envy you. I miss the anticipation of a bi g meet, and how neat it felt to be surrounded by other parents dealing with the same pent-up emotions.
I also miss the few seconds after every game when I could put my arms around my sons and daughter and tell them just how proud I was of the effort they had made. I don't remember the wins or the losses. But I will never forget how special those moment s were for me, and I hope, for them. This is one of those opportunities that once lost, can't be reclaimed.
My time is past, and I wish I could do it again. If your time is here, please don't waste a minute of it.
—Bob Becker
Grand Rapids Press