Glue and Grace
October 9, 2012
Recent events, obvious to you, caused me to return to an article the MHSAA published in August of 1999. Here it is again:
Three days after the tragedy at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, a retired athletic administrator whom I respect greatly and listened to intently, called me to say this:
“You have an opportunity to speak to student-athletes in this state and across the country. Talk to them about Littleton.”
This administrator wanted me to convey to athletes that they were not a part of the many and complex causes of the Columbine carnage, but they play a small part of the solution to help assure such craziness doesn’t occur closer to home.
The administrator was referencing some of the media reports that suggested the youthful killers took offense to the “jocks.” Valid or not, these suggestions provide another wake-up call for those who claim that school-sponsored sports are healthy for the participants, school and community.
As a result, part of my conversations with student-athletes this year and the heart of my message to team captains in 1999-00, will be this:
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Break down the walls, real or perceived, between the athletes of your schools and other students. Avoid cliques limited to team members or even athletes in general.
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When you walk the school halls and shopping malls, greet fellow students warmly, regardless of their involvement in school sports or other activities. Let them know that you know they exist.
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Become more sensitive to the needs of others, especially those who are different than you. Appreciate that while you may be more gifted in some things, other students are more gifted in other things. Show a genuine interest in those things.
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Understand that you are not the center of the universe. Accept that it is your role to serve others, and not the other way around.
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Don’t condescend, but concentrate on the rich worth of other people. Seek them out. Involve them. Enter into their worlds and invite them into yours until such time as it is difficult to recognize different worlds in your school and community.
I believe this goal for the interscholastic athletic program, embraced by every administrator, participant and parent, would help us: That every participant be involved in academic and non-academic matters, athletic and non-athletic activities, be a star in one thing and a substitute in another, be on stage and backstage, in solo and ensemble, experiencing both winning and losing.
A student involved in such an experience as this could not help but provide glue and grace to a student body.
No student-athlete anywhere is remotely responsible for the massacre in Littleton, Colorado. But student-athletes everywhere have an opportunity to be a small part of an environment that assures such a tragedy is not repeated where they live, study and play. Talk to them.
Let Life Teach
December 7, 2012
Here’s a golden nugget from Ann Arbor’s Dr. Dan Saferstein’s little book, Win or Lose: A Guide to Sports Parenting:
“Most of us have an easier time being math parents than we do being sports parents. We don’t stand over our children as they’re doing their homework, hollering at them to round to the highest decimal or carry their zero. We trust that they’ll be able to figure things out on their own, and if they can’t, they’ll get the help they need from their teachers or by asking us.
“What a lot of sports parents seem to forget is that young athletes also need the same space to figure things out on their own. They need to learn how to think and make decisions during game situations, which isn’t easy to do when your parent (or someone else’s parent) is shouting out directions.
“The reality is that if your child could score a goal or stop a defender, he would. In most cases, telling your child to move faster to the ball is like telling him to be taller. Effort isn’t the only critical factor in sports, or in math. Some children will never be high-level athletes no matter how hard they try, which is by no means a tragedy. The world doesn’t necessarily need more gymnastics, softball or soccer stars. It needs more young people who are willing to try and make our world a better place.”
Go to dansaferstein.com for more good stuff from the good doctor.