#Charleytough Getting Stronger Amid Outpouring of Support
By
Tim Robinson
Special for MHSAA.com
March 11, 2021
On a recent evening at the home of Corunna boys basketball coach John “Rocky” Buscemi and his wife Chloe, the household is a whirlwind of activity.
Their daughter Charley, 5, darts in and out of the Buscemis’ home office to ask questions, mimic riding a horse, or whatever else comes to the mind of a little girl full of energy.
The only thing that would tell you that cancer had interrupted their lives for five months in the fall and winter is the hair that just now is starting to grow on Charley’s scalp.
Shock, then Support
Charley Buscemi is named after her grandfather, Charley Silm, who refereed high school basketball for 22 years in and around mid-Michigan when he wasn’t working on the farm. He often took his daughter, Chloe, to games he worked when she was a youngster.
“I remember packing up my little bag with snacks and watch my dad officiate,” Chloe Silm-Buscemi recalled. “Even though I didn’t play basketball, I grew up in the gym, just like Charley did.”
Her daughter has grown up watching her dad coach. She confidently refers to Corunna players as “her boys” and announces that she wants to coach with him some day.
Last summer, Charley was having trouble sleeping, and sleep apnea was diagnosed. Her doctor advised that removing Charley’s tonsils would likely eliminate the apnea.
The Buscemis agreed, and her tonsils were removed Sept. 25.
“We knew nothing else,” Chloe said, “but apparently the doctor noticed that one of the tonsils looked abnormal, or a little awkward, so he sent it off for testing.”
Chloe said she was told that any complications might require another operation to stop bleeding in the area, but she was stunned when the doctor’s office called back Oct. 1.
“We didn’t know the testing had been done,” Chloe said. “We got a call that said ‘the findings of the pathology are consistent with a diagnosis of lymphoma.’ And we were like, ‘Wait. What?’ It caught us completely off guard. (Charley) was racing in circles around our kitchen island and our dining room table, and I was like, no, you’ve got the wrong kid here. There’s no way this kid has cancer.”
“Initially, it was, this can’t be right,” Rocky said. “I was trying to read between the lines and find some wording that gave some idea that this is what they think. I tried to hang onto the idea that there’s got to be more tests, and those tests will show us that it’s not (cancer).”
The diagnosis was correct. Charley had diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, the most common type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. It’s a fast-growing cancer that affects B-lymphocytes, a type of blood cell that helps fight infection.
While it is a fast-growing lymphoma, it’s considered potentially curable.
The cancerous cells found in Charley’s tonsil were sent to the Mayo Clinic and the National Institute of Health, and the diagnosis was confirmed.
Charley began chemotherapy at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing and celebrated her fifth birthday there.
Chloe, meanwhile, was also navigating the second trimester of her pregnancy.
“I spent most of my second trimester sleeping on a cot in the hospital while she got chemo treatments,” Chloe said.
“Her first round of chemo was horrible,” Rocky said. “She didn’t react to it well, and we were there 20 of 25 days.”
But once word got out, people in the Corunna school system, neighbors, fellow coaches and others reached out in the Buscemis’ time of need.
“The schools were so understanding,” Rocky said. “Once we found out, it was, go be with your family. Put in for your (Family and Medical Leave Act). Everyone was supportive from that end.”
The Corunna basketball players drove out to the Buscemi home and raked up its leaves. Some Corunna alumni got together to string up Christmas lights, the Orchard Lake St. Mary’s team sent her a giant stuffed panda, and many more showed support.
“We’re working on thank-yous now,” Chloe said. “My mom says people would know if you posted a thank-you (online), but I want to be able to send something out. Right now there’s something like 250 thank-yous.”
Strength & Sliver Linings
Charley had two rounds of chemotherapy and has been pronounced cancer-free. She has monthly meetings with her oncologist and quarterly CT scans scheduled for the next year.
“They’re watching her heart, because the chemo can affect that, so we meet with the cardiologist,” Chloe says.
“It’s a lot for a little person,” she adds as Charley flits back and forth between parents, announcing at one point she has cleaned her plate at dinner with no small amount of pride. “But for the most part, she’s just like this. She’s pretty happy, pretty easy-going, and takes it in stride. Sometimes I struggle with it more than she does. You feel totally helpless.”
For Rocky, the whole experience is full of silver linings, however hard-won.
“You’re always trying to find the silver linings,’ he said. “We had no idea she had cancer, but the silver lining was once we found out what it was, and it was confined to the tonsil, the blessing was it was almost a miracle we had her tonsils removed almost at the same time it was starting to develop. It wasn’t found anywhere else, so that’s a silver lining.
“Recently she’s been diagnosed as having celiac disease, and we’ve been given the OK to (shift) to a gluten-free diet. If she hadn’t had cancer, we might not have known until she was a teenager and had permanent damage. We’ve been so fortunate and blessed to find things out when we did.”
The Buscemis talk in tones of awe and appreciation for the caring and other gestures that have come their way.
“It’s incredibly humbling,” Rocky said. “It makes you want to do for someone else. I’m much more aware of people in need, and I hope to pay it forward. There are a lot of people you wouldn’t have anticipated reaching out who have reached out.”
The fear and stress of that time, he said, are often near, even with Charley in the clear.
“I wanted to be strong for Chloe and my family and be that rock that could be leaned on,” he said. “But man, oh man, there are still mornings when I drive to school and tear up. It’s nice to have other guys who understand that or have been through it. I’d be the rock here (at home) and then I’d be emotional with my friends in the coaching fraternity.”
Charley and 3-year-old brother Sam were mainstays at practice last year, playing quietly in a corner of the gym while the team practiced. Charley was at most every game, and Rocky always made a point of looking for her and her mother in the stands.
That hasn’t been the case this year, as Charley’s immune system has been weakened by the chemo and has kept her at home this season, watching the Cavaliers play on her mother’s laptop.
There’s been another change, too.
“I’ve adopted a one-day-at-a-time, appreciate-every-moment approach,” Rocky said. “A year ago in 9-degree weather, I might have been trying to find reasons not to go outside. Now if Charley wants to go sledding, we’re going sledding!”
He laughs as he says that, a man who has a new appreciation of things.
His players have been honoring her, too, wearing black T-shirts at warmups with a large unicorn on the front with the hashtag #Charleytough and the Corunna logo on a basketball.
As for Charley, she will go back to kindergarten next year, but at the moment, she’s anxiously awaiting the birth of her brother or sister March 22.
She already has informed her parents that her new sibling will be a girl, named Maggie, and wants the newborn to sleep in her room.
“She says, ‘Mommy, I’ll feed the baby,’” Chloe said, chuckling. “I told Rocky we don’t have to worry about parenting a third baby. Charley’s got it.”
Besides another new brother or sister, if all goes well, Charley will be back on the sideline with her dad and her basketball team next winter.
Rocky says his family’s experience, among other things, showed him how strong the ties are in the coaching community.
“It was nice to see the game be the bridge that allowed me to reach out and depend on people a little bit,” he said “Without it, you don’t have those relationships. Things like this make you realize how special those things really are. If you don’t experience it, you don’t get to understand people’s true motivations.
“It was humbling,” he added. “It was scary at times, but all in all it was a little bit of everything that helped us to be able to get through this.”
PHOTOS: (Top) Charley Buscemi and her dad Rocky enjoy a fun moment at home. (2) From left: Charley, Rocky, Chloe and Sam Buscemi. (3) Corunna players wear #Charleytough T-shirts as warm-ups for their games. They prominently feature Charley’s favorite animal, a unicorn. (4) Charley’s immune system isn’t robust enough for her to attend games in person, but she never misses a chance to watch “her boys” play on her mom’s laptop. (Photos courtesy of the Buscemi family.)
Launching Pad and Destination
November 30, 2012
By Rob Kaminski
MHSAA benchmarks editor
Lamont Simpson’s “home” is a place he visits twice a week during his peak season, when NCAA Division I officiating duties have him navigating the Midwest like a person in a race for frequent flyer miles.
His travels pale in comparison to Stacey Thomas, who has lived in Latvia, Turkey and Sweden thanks to the game of basketball.
Then there’s Jim Garofalo, who authored his own cheat sheets to assist with the eight different rules books which intertwined during a period of time in his hockey officiating career, which included a trip to the Olympic Games.
So, naturally, there’s Simpson officiating an MHSAA Pre-District Football Playoff game in Detroit last fall, taking a postgame earful from a father who believed his son was the subject of a cheap shot during the game.
There’s Thomas, blowing a whistle with teenagers at the Healthy Kids Club in Detroit this summer
There’s Garofalo, ditching seven of the rules books over the last few years, and using only one now: the high school rules book.
It’s true that Simpson is at the pinnacle of his career, working Big Ten, Mid-American Conference and Horizon League men’s basketball, in addition to the WNBA in the summer, where he recently worked his eighth straight WNBA Finals.
And, yes, Thomas has her sights set on the NCAA Division I level and beyond, as her officiating career is still in its infancy.
Sure, Garofalo has achieved much on the ice both as an amateur and professional referee.
But, like so many in the officiating family, they deeply appreciate their roots and the people who helped them along the way. It’s a people business, first and foremost.
This week, continuing its "Making – and Answering – the Call" series, Second Half introduces Simpson, an officiating veteran of more than three decades. Profiles of Thomas and Garofalo will follow later this month.
It's about patience and honesty
The late June heat at the Kensington Valley Golf Course doesn’t seem to bother Lamont Simpson. The secret to his cool aura lies in his hand, a golf ball which he has identified as “Ref” in permanent marker.
Simpson is indeed a ref – permanently – thanks to a suggestion from Robert Menafee during the late 1970s, and the 1977 Detroit Redford grad has been most comfortable in the heat of competition’s spotlight ever since.
“I was at a football game at Henry Ford a year or two after high school, and Mr. Menafee, my former coach, saw me and asked what I was doing,” Simpson recalled. “He said I should try officiating. That’s the first I’d ever thought about it.”
It would be the impetus to a craft that has consumed nearly 30 years of Simpson’s life, as he now jets around the country as a top-flight NCAA Men’s Basketball official, and one of the senior officials in the WNBA, where he recently called his eighth consecutive Finals.
For all of his accomplishments, Simpson can still recall with great detail various moments that led to his current standing; mental snapshots which help to explain why he still registers as an MHSAA football official each year, and why he gives so freely of himself to anyone interested in getting a start in officiating.
“I still remember my first game, thinking, ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this,’” Simpson recalled. “In my second year I did a PSL (Detroit Public School League) playoff game, and to this day, walking into that gym is still one of my most gratifying times. There were about two or three thousand people in the stands, and I remember the butterflies.”
Fast forward to the Pontiac Silverdome in November 1992. In the waning seconds of the MHSAA Class A Football Final, a pigskin floats in the air doing its best butterfly imitation. Following a double-reverse pass, the tipped ball is finally corralled by Muskegon Reeths-Puffer’s Stacey Starr at the 10-yard line and carried into the end zone to give his school a 21-18 win over Walled Lake Western in one of the most frenzied finishes in MHSAA Finals history.
Simpson had a good view of the moment.
“I was the back judge, working my first MHSAA Final. My first thought is to get in position and then, ‘Oh man, the ball is tipped,’” Simpson replays in his mind. “You’re part of a game-ending situation and you don’t want to screw it up. You almost become a fan in a game like that—a moment like that—but you’ve got your job to do. Afterward, when it was all over, I just remember thinking, ‘What a football game I got to be a part of.’”
Simpson would also get a shot as a Football Final referee in 2003, and worked the 1995 Boys Basketball Final which featured Flint Northern’s team led by future MSU Spartans Mateen Cleaves and Antonio Smith. But, Simpson remembers that game for a different reason.
“It was the last time that the Final was worked with a two-person crew.” Simpson said. “I remember the great athletes in the game, and being part of history as the last two-man crew in the Finals is something to be proud of.”
Simpson is quick to point out, however, that simply having what it takes to officiate an athletic event at any level is something of which to be most proud. While it’s natural for new officials to covet championship assignments and careers beyond the high school level, Simpson stresses patience, hard work, and – in many cases – honesty with one’s own performance as the most valuable traits an official can possess.
“I work and speak at a lot of camps, and I stress that people need to work at the craft – mechanics, rules, physical appearance – and above all have patience.” Simpson said. “The thing I see in younger officials now that is so different than when I was coming in, is they don’t have the patience; they don’t want to pay their dues.”
Sometimes, even the greatest amount of patience, perseverance and hard work isn’t enough. And, that’s where honesty in self-evaluation comes in. Yes, there are egos in officiating. To some extent, it’s a prerequisite. However, humility can also lead to finding a niche in the game.
Simpson himself is an example.
“My goal was to work in the NBA, but after seven years in the CBA, I realized that it probably wasn’t going to happen,” he said. “But, you know, there was still a lot of good basketball out there to work. When I left the CBA, I did so on my own terms, and went to work on my college career. So, sometimes you weigh your options and focus on the next goal.
“The point is, work at being the best at whatever level you work. I’ve seen guys spend a lot of money at the same camps year after year, and never get that college assignment,” Simpson said. “Maybe it’s time for them to focus on a different level.”
In that respect, the very thing that drives officials and gets them in the game in the first place can by the very thing that drives them out. Passion and drive, the need to reach the next level, can keep people focused in their chosen quest; the frustration of not advancing can also lead to their exit.
True, Simpson is one of 32 officials in the WNBA, and just worked his eighth WNBA Final. He has a full NCAA Division I men’s basketball schedule. But, the father of three grown children and grandfather of five cannot express enough the fringe benefits that officiating brings at any level.
“You become a better people person through officiating. Your communication skills are sharper,” he says. “Not only what to say and when to say it, but you learn to listen. You have to be a listener in this business, and that’s a great skill to have in life.”
It also provides the opportunity to be a teacher and recruiter. It’s one of the reasons he’s closing in on nearly three decades as an MHSAA registered official. What better way to pass the knowledge forward?
“No matter where you end up, always remember where you started, and keep your friends,” Simpson said. “I return every call, every text. I still talk to the same guys I grew up with. From an officiating standpoint if we could all just bring along one person at a time, think of the effect that would have.”
Simpson does more than his share, from speaking at camps and clinics – all voluntarily, mind you – to the behind the scenes recruitment, such as the time he surrendered all of his baseball umpiring equipment to a friend under the condition that person register with the MHSAA and begin working games.
He thinks back to the suggestion from Coach Menafee frequently. “Oh, all the time,” Simpson said. “I think of the places I’ve been, the things I’ve seen, the people I’ve met and the person I’ve become. This is what being an official does.”
There’s a scenario that Simpson replays time and again when he talks of officiating, and it doesn’t pertain to his collegiate or professional experience. In fact, it’s not even about basketball.
“It’s Friday night, and you’re working the big rivalry game between two communities. You get on the field, the bleachers are packed, the bands are playing, and you’re right in the mix,” Simpson says with reverence. “That’s it right there. It doesn’t get much better than that. That’s it.”
PHOTO: Lamont Simpson officiates WNBA games during the summers, including this contest involving the Atlanta Dream and player Erika de Souza (14).
NOTE: This is the fifth installment in the series "Making – and Answering – the Call" detailing the careers and service of MHSAA officials. Click the links below to view the others.