Fearful Start Behind Her, Abnet Continuing to Amaze for Undefeated Vicksburg
By
Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com
February 7, 2023
VICKSBURG – It is not often that a mother calls her child’s concussion a blessing, but it certainly was for Vicksburg senior Tristin Abnet.
The concussion, sustained her freshman year during a volleyball game, led to tests which led to the discovery of a brain tumor.
Luckily, the tumor was benign and, after the surgery and a long recovery, Abnet is one of two seniors on the undefeated girls basketball team that has set a program record this winter for most wins in a season at 16 and counting, eclipsing the previous mark of 15.
And when it comes to Abnet’s journey over the last three years, Bulldogs coach Tim Kirby said it’s been nothing short of amazing.
After taking a hit during a volleyball game, “I actually got a concussion and I ended up with a headache for about a month or so,” Abnet said.
“I didn’t think too much of it because I always got injuries and always got over them. But this one scared me a little bit.”
It was not until she was playing in a college exposure softball tournament that November that she realized something more was going on.
“Tristin was an up-and-coming softball athlete throughout the country,” her dad, Cheyenne, said. “She won many national championships up to her freshman year (in travel softball).
“We were playing at a college exposure tournament, and she was the youngest on the team. The third day (of the tournament) she started crying because her headache was so bad. She asked me if I would take her out.”
Her mother, Kristina, added, “That was so unlike T. She would battle through anything.”
At that moment, they knew something was terribly wrong.
“She was only making it through maybe two days of school every week because of headaches,” Kristina said. “We took her to her family doctor (in November), and they weren’t comfortable with everything.
“Her doctor (Rosa Maira) said she felt it necessary to do further imaging. Had she not, we’d still never know.”
The wait during the imaging dragged on, causing a bit of concern for her parents.
“They kept her for so long, and I said there’s something wrong – Mother’s intuition,” Kristina said.
“Then they came out and took us back and showed us what they found and asked to do further testing. Everything snowballed after that.”
Finding out about the tumor, “My world crashed,” Kristina said, with tears in her eyes. “(In 2011) I had a lot of tumors, desmoid tumors, and to think of the battle I went through and the fact that it was on her brain, it was tough.”
In March, doctors performed a biopsy, finding Tristin’s tumor was a low-grade glioma, which is benign.
“We all lost it that day,” Kristina said. “We had our entire family there for her first surgery in March. We left (the hospital) three days later, and then COVID hit.”
With classes online, “She ended up not having to go back to school that year, so that was a blessing too.”
The surgery to remove the tumor was scheduled for August 2020, and during the months between the biopsy and surgery, Tristin said, “I didn’t want to freak myself out because I knew it was coming, I knew what was going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it.”
Her dad said Tristin “never cried in front of me from the day at the tournament all the way to the day of her surgery.
“She was so, so strong, and she was just a little girl. I never saw a tear until they were ready to wheel her away for the surgery.”
One worry for Tristin was the chance of losing her hair to facilitate the craniotomy.
“First they told me they were going to shave my head halfway back and then, as I was getting wheeled back, there were two girl nurses talking about what they were going to do with my hair, so I knew they weren’t going to completely shave my head,” Abnet said.
The surgery lasted 13 hours at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, and three days later she was headed home to her bedroom decorated by friends and family.
At first, Tristin was allowed no competition for six months after the surgery. But after a CT scan, doctors added another two months before giving her the OK to play.
“There are (three) metal plates there, that’s why she could not go back to sports for such a long time because that plate had to heal,” her dad said.
Although she could not play basketball her sophomore year, she found a way to stay involved: She became the varsity team manager.
“As a sophomore she literally was here for every practice and every game, even though she wasn’t allowed to participate,” Kirby said.
“At the end of the season, her team unanimously voted her “best teammate” on the entire team, and she couldn’t play. I think that’s a testament to the kind of person she is and the impact she had on the team.”
After taking a year off and after major surgery, Abnet had a lot of catching up to do, both physically and mentally, during her junior year, her coach said.
“Last year, you just wanted to make sure you kept her safe,” Kirby noted. “This year, I haven’t worried about it as much because she’s been through it and we’re all more comfortable with it.
“She knows what her limitations are. Last year, I was a little more leery about it.”
Tristin worked her way back into shape.
“She goes to the gym four days a week,” her mom said. “She’s literally built up about 10 pounds of muscle.
“She lost 35 pounds after her brain surgery. She went from being a fit athlete to being very tiny, very fragile.”
Those first few games back last year were also nail-biters.
“I was absolutely terrified,” her mom said. “One hit to her head and her forehead could concave.”
They were a bit daunting for Tristin as well.
“I was super, super nervous because I didn’t want to get hit in the head and have to go through that surgery again,” she said.
Her dad added that the surgery changed her.
“She’s not the athlete she was four years ago; she’s not, and that’s fine,” Cheyenne said. “It took me a while as Dad, as (softball) coach, to understand that. I’m proud of her.”
Through it all, she never let her grades suffer and carries a 4.13 GPA.
She is also called the team “mom,” taking snacks to road games and putting out reminders every day in the team’s group chat.
“She inspires me every single day,” Kirby said. “When you’re a young team, you have to have that leadership. She’s a great leader for us. She bonds everybody together.”
That bonding is one thing that is so special about the Bulldogs, Kirby said.
“They work hard every day and they share the basketball like nobody I’ve ever seen before,” he explained. “Every night, someone else leads us in scoring.
“I’ve had seven different girls lead us in scoring this year, and I don’t have anyone averaging 10 points a game right now.”
Amanda Laugher joins Abnet as the team’s seniors. The young roster also includes juniors Brooklynn Ringler, Emma Steele and Maddison Diekman and sophomores Scarlett Hosner, Kendra Cooley, Emily Zemitans, Makayla Allen and Hannah Devries.
As for the school record, that was not the team’s goal at the beginning of the season.
“Our goal this year is to win the (Wolverine) Conference championship,” Kirby said. “Vicksburg has never won a conference championship in girls basketball. That was our No. 1 goal this year.
“We host our District this year, so we’re hoping maybe to follow up a conference championship with a District championship. You get to that point, and it’s all gravy.”
Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.
PHOTOS (Top) Vicksburg’s Tristin Abnet is glad to be back on the court, and intense going to the basket. (2) Stitches stretched across Abnet’s scalp as three metal plates and a hinge were applied to her skull. (3) Abnet is surrounded by support including parents Cheyenne, left, and Kristina, and coach Tim Kirby. (4) Abnet launches a jumper during a game with Stevensville Lakeshore. (Photos courtesy of the Abnet family.)
Title IX at 50: Regina's Laffey Retiring as Definition of Legendary
By
Tom Markowski
Special for Second Half
April 5, 2022
At a time many coaches and school administrators seemingly come and go like billboard signs on the highway, there are a few who, over time, become part of the fabric of their school and community.
Diane Laffey is one such person.
Some perspective on how long Laffey has been coaching: President John F. Kennedy was still alive when Laffey was about to enter her second season as a head varsity basketball coach.
How many of you remember that sad day in November of 1963 in Dallas or did you simply read about Kennedy’s death years later? Laffey literally has been involved in high school activities for what amounts to a lifetime for many.
The word 'legend' is often misused when applied to an individual who has achieved greatness over a long period of time. But in Laffey's case, it fits her like a woolen mitten in mid-January.
Laffey, 83, started coaching girls basketball in 1962 at St. Anthony, on Detroit's near eastside. The following spring she began her first season as the head varsity softball coach. When St. Anthony merged with Detroit East Catholic and Detroit St. Elizabeth in 1969 to form one high school, East Catholic, Laffey remained for one season before taking over both programs at Harper Woods Regina, an all-girls school, in 1970. Dave Soules, the boys basketball coach at East Catholic at the time, tried to convince Laffey to stay, but to no avail.
With that move Laffey found a home, a home she would care for for years to come. On June 30, Laffey will officially retire from her position as the school's athletic director and as the head coach of the two varsity sports which have been so much a part of her life for seven decades.
When one coaches for 60 seasons, the number of victories, titles and championships can boggle the mind. Laffey has had more than her share of success winning seven MHSAA Finals softball titles, the latest coming in 2019, and reaching four Final Fours in basketball. And Laffey's teams always competed at the highest level, in the Detroit Catholic League Central, and in the MHSAA tournaments. Due to a decline in enrollment Regina moved from Division 1 to Division 2 in basketball two seasons ago. Laffey opted to remain in Division 1 in softball and will continue to compete at that level this spring.
As enticing as retirement might sound, making that important decision can be difficult. Change can be a challenge, especially to one who has dedicated herself with such passion and for such a long time in a profession where the reward is more often a pat on the back, a kind word or the return of former students who just want to say thanks.
There's a saying that needs repeating. It isn't work if you love what you're doing.
“It was hard,” Laffey said. “It's a very hard decision for me to make.”
It's not a stretch to say Laffey and the Catholic League have almost become synonymous over the years. And this relationship began well before her coaching career. Her father Jack 'Red' Laffey was the basketball and football coach at Detroit St. Charles and Detroit Nativity, where his daughter played basketball and softball before graduating in 1957. Her father died when Laffey was in the eighth grade, but she was around him long enough to know that coaching was in her blood.
“I was in the gym a lot,” Laffey said. “He was down to earth, but he could yell (at his players) when he had to. He cared about the kids. He was tough, but deep down he loved his kids.”
For those who know Diane Laffey, it's as if she was talking about herself when making that statement.
Her teams have been an extension of herself. They’ve worked hard. They’ve played the game with passion but without a bravado one might see in other teams that have achieved similar success.
After high school, Laffey received her undergraduate degree from the University of Detroit and then went to Wayne State University, where she earned her master’s in guidance and counseling. There was no question what she wanted to do with her life. It was just a question of where.
Most of her time was spent as a physical education teacher, but she did teach Spanish at St. Anthony and was a guidance counselor before becoming Regina's athletic director in 1977. Remember, Laffey coached two sports every season for 60 years. And if this wasn't enough, she coached softball at Wayne State from 1978-81 without taking time away from her duties at Regina – although she eventually left Wayne State because she said the time she spent coaching in college took time away from her responsibilities, her players, at Regina.
That doesn't mean her time at Wayne State didn't have it moments. There was one instance where the proper paperwork wasn't filled out in order for Wayne State to compete in a tournament. Faced with the problem of not having her team compete, Laffey met with former MHSAA Communications Director John Johnson, who was the sports information director at Western Michigan at the time, and Johnson came through by contacting a Detroit newspaper and obtained the paperwork needed for Wayne State to compete. Laffey said she was forever in debt to a person she would work with many times in the future.
Laffey has been the recipient of numerous awards – most notably her induction into the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame and the National Federation of State High School Associations’ Hall of Fame – yet those honors are not what she'll remember most when her career comes to a close. No, it'll be the same reason why she entered the profession of education – people, most notably her students and assistant coaches.
Her coaching staff this basketball season consisted of Emily Frikken and Kevin Reese. Kerri Kelly, Marisa Mugley, Mike Roeske and Frikken assist her in softball. Frikken and Mugley both played for Laffey.
Frikken played basketball and softball for four seasons before graduating in 2009. Frikken's perspective is quite unique in that she attended Regina the last two years the school was located in Harper Woods and was part of the transition when the school moved to Warren in 2007. A 2013 Albion College graduate, Frikken joined Laffey's staff in 2019 after serving as athletic director, assistant basketball coach and head coach of the field hockey team at Livonia Ladywood.
Frikken played on the 2007 MHSAA Division 1 championship softball team, the program's fourth consecutive title. And in her first season as an assistant, Frikken helped Regina take home its most recent championship.
“That was a great experience,” she said. “(Winning) was so much better as a coach. You have an outside perspective. It was a proud moment. And we won in extra innings (3-2 over Howell). Watching (the players) excitement was amazing.”
For Frikken, the moment that's indelibly stamped in her memory is the one that took place minutes after that victory over Howell.
“Diane and I walked back to our cars,” she said. “And we had parked quite a distance from where most people parked, so we walked a while. It was just the two of us, and she asked me what it was like to be a part of something like that. I'll never forget that.”
Frikken first met Laffey at a summer basketball camp while she was still in middle school. There's a bit of a mystique that surrounds a person who has coached for so long and Frikken, like many others, had to remove that barrier before she became comfortable.
“From her, there's the intimidation aspect,” she said. “There (are) so many things she has done. But knowing her, she's very humble. She doesn't want all the attention she gets. She wants her players to have it.”
As to why Laffey has had so much success, Frikken said it comes down to basics.
“She keeps it simple,” she said. “She tells her players to play like you're capable of playing. She instills confidence. She brings a lot of passion to both sports.”
Laffey finished her basketball coaching career with 668 victories including four Catholic League titles. The victory total places her seventh overall and second among women's coaches in Michigan high school history behind Bloomfield Hills Marian's Mary Cicerone (707), who also retired following this past season.
In softball, Laffey is Michigan's all-time leader with 1,231 victories.
Like Frikken said, even though Laffey is one of the all-time greats in both sports, she prefers to deflect the attention to others.
“I've had some of the best assistants in the world,” Laffey said. “You have to have someone you can talk to, someone to bounce your ideas off of. Many of our coaches are former players. Our head JV softball coach is an alum. Our JV volleyball coach is an alum, and both the varsity and JV lacrosse coaches are alums. They know the school. They know the program. They kind of know what the program is like; what's expected.”
Laffey also gives kudos to the tremendous athletes she's had the opportunity to coach such as pitcher Nikki Nemitz, who later played at Michigan, and basketball players Sarah Judd (Oakland University) and Paula Sanders, the latter a Miss Basketball finalist and later a star player at Michigan State.
It's uncertain at this time who will become the new head coach in the two sports, but it's safe to assume Laffey will offer an opinion or two. Whomever those in school administration choose, the foundation for success has long been established.
Regardless of who it is, Frikken said she's a better coach and a better person having had Laffey as a coach and now having served as an assistant coach on Laffey’s staff.
“It's not about Xs and Os,” she said. “It's about building relationships with the students. It just wasn't the student-athlete who flocked to be around Diane. Even if you didn't play sports, you wanted to be around her. You can't count how many people she's had an impact on. As a coach, you want to make sure (the players) know you care. And make sure you are a role model for them.
“To play for someone like that is one thing. To coach alongside ... I've learned so much. Regina is very lucky to have her.”
It's not over yet. Laffey returns 10 seniors from a team that reached an MHSAA Regional Final a season ago. Regina won three consecutive softball league titles before Farmington Hills Mercy won the Central in 2021.
Whatever takes place this season, whether there's a league title or a long tournament run in store for her team, what matters most to Laffey is the student part of her student-athletes. She said of the five valedictorians in the school, three are members of her softball team including Abby Hornberger – who has been accepted to begin undergraduate studies at Princeton in the fall.
In the end, Laffey has been deeply touched by all of the attention she has received, especially in recent weeks since announcing her upcoming retirement.
“I've received so many emails congratulating me,” she said. “It's humbling. Very humbling.”
Second Half's weekly Title IX Celebration posts are sponsored by Michigan Army National Guard.
Previous Title IX at 50 Spotlights
March 29: Edison's Whitehorn named 2022 Miss Basketball - Read
March 22: Carney-Nadeau Sets Girls Hoops Standard with 78-Win Streak - Read
March 15: Binder Among Voices Telling Our Story on MHSAA Network - Read
March 8: 28 Years, Thousands of Cheers - Read
March 1: Kearsley Rolls On Among Girls Bowling's Early Successes - Read
Feb. 22: Marquette Ties Record for Swim & Dive Finals Success - Read
Feb. 15: Jaeger's 2004 Winter Run Created Lasting Connection - Read
Feb. 8: Marian's Cicerone to Finish Among All-Time Elite - Read
Feb. 1: WISL Award Honors Builders of State's Girls Sports Tradition - Read
Jan. 25: Decades Later, Edwards' Legend Continues to Grow - Read
Jan. 18: Iron Mountain Completes Championship Climb - Read
Jan. 11: Harrold's Achievement Heralds Growth of Girls Wrestling - Read
Dec. 20: Competitive Cheer Gives Michigan Plenty to Cheer About - Read
Dec. 14: Evelyn's Game Had Plenty of Magic - Read
Dec. 7: Council Term Ends, But Leinaar Leaves Lasting Impact - Read
Nov. 30: Basketball Season Ready to Add to Rich Tradition - Read
Nov. 23: Marysville Builds Winning Streak Yet to be Challenged - Read
Nov. 16: Wroubel Has Championed Girls School Sports from Their Start - Read
Nov. 9: Pioneer's Joyce Legendary in Michigan, National Swim History - Read
Nov. 2: Royal Oak's Finch Leading Way on Football Field - Read
Oct. 26: Coach Clegg Sets Championship Standard at Grand Blanc - Read
Oct. 19: Rockford Girls Set Pace, Hundreds After Have Continued to Chase - Read
Oct. 12: Bedford Volleyball Pioneer Continues Blazing Record-Setting Trail - Read
Oct. 5: Warner Paved Way to Legend Status with Record Rounds - Read
Sept. 28: Taylor Kennedy Gymnasts Earn Fame as 1st Champions - Read
Sept. 21: Portage Northern Star Byington Becomes Play-by-Play Pioneer - Read
Sept. 14: Guerra/Groat Legacy Continues to Serve St. Philip Well - Read
Sept. 7: Best-Ever Conversation Must Include Leland's Glass - Read
Aug. 31: We Will Celebrate Many Who Paved the Way - Read
PHOTOS (Top) Diane Laffey accepts the 1991 MHSAA Women in Sports Leadership Award, and at right hands the 2017 Division 1 softball championship trophy to her Regina players. (Middle) Laffey confers with her hitters during a 2015 Division 1 Semifinal.