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Butterflies and Helicopters

July 9, 2014

I’m doing as much as I know how to attract butterflies to my garden. For example, I’ve planted a butterfly bush and milkweed plants. I do this because these plants are supposed to attract butterflies and bees, and I know butterflies and bees are essential to producing vegetables.

One of the greatest miracles any person can observe is to watch a butterfly emerge from a cocoon. It was as wondrous to me last summer as the first time I saw it occur when I was a young child, when I first saw a butterfly emerge with damp, shriveled wings. 

I was told then that we shouldn’t interfere, that we shouldn’t help the butterfly escape the cocoon and shouldn’t help spread the wings. We had to let the butterfly struggle. We were instructed that the struggle would give strength to the wings, and that would be essential to the butterfly’s survival.

Childhood is much like this, but too often helicopter parents intervene and interfere with the growth process and, ultimately, weaken their children’s ability to fend for themselves, to overcome adversity and to take flight.

Helicopter parents endanger our butterfly children.

System Failure

October 19, 2012

Almost every week we learn of another college or professional athlete who has exploded in rage, abused a fan or friend, been busted or broken parole, been stopped for speeding or DUI.

Among very many reasons why, one of the greatest may be this: we taught them to behave this way . . . the system caused them to become this way.

Sometimes the positive character traits taught through high school sports are overwhelmed by the extravagant attention given to athletes by the media, college recruiters, ranking services, agents, promoters and sporting equipment/apparel companies. Good kids begin to believe the hype, thinking they're not only above the crowd, but above the law. They go from being self-confident, to self-centered, to self-serving. 

There are good reasons that, in school sports, we attempt to restrain the hype and deflect attention from individual to team. We could use some help at home and in the media.