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An Excuse to Get Together

March 15, 2013

I recently heard a veteran teacher tell the story of years ago when she was leading a church youth group which was meeting regularly to prepare a play.  The group met frequently for many months.

Eventually, one of the church members, and parent of one of the youth, asked when the group would be performing their production.  The teacher/leader responded, “That’s not the point.  The play is just an excuse for getting together.” 

Hearing this story resonated with me as I thought back to my years as a high school student who participated in sports, drama and choral music, and as I thought about my two sons who did the same in middle school and high school, and as I thought about my too-brief time as a teacher/coach.  The contests, concerts and dramatic performances for the public were almost entirely beside the point.

What was more important by far was getting together with other students to work together on projects outside the classroom.  To do positive things, creative things.  To experiment under controlled conditions.  To develop a team spirit.

This is why it is especially important that schools maintain broad and deep extracurricular options for students.  Important particularly that they not only maintain but grow subvarsity programs where the emphasis is more likely to keep focused on practice more than games, and teaching and learning more than winning and recordkeeping.

Butterflies and Helicopters

July 9, 2014

I’m doing as much as I know how to attract butterflies to my garden. For example, I’ve planted a butterfly bush and milkweed plants. I do this because these plants are supposed to attract butterflies and bees, and I know butterflies and bees are essential to producing vegetables.

One of the greatest miracles any person can observe is to watch a butterfly emerge from a cocoon. It was as wondrous to me last summer as the first time I saw it occur when I was a young child, when I first saw a butterfly emerge with damp, shriveled wings. 

I was told then that we shouldn’t interfere, that we shouldn’t help the butterfly escape the cocoon and shouldn’t help spread the wings. We had to let the butterfly struggle. We were instructed that the struggle would give strength to the wings, and that would be essential to the butterfly’s survival.

Childhood is much like this, but too often helicopter parents intervene and interfere with the growth process and, ultimately, weaken their children’s ability to fend for themselves, to overcome adversity and to take flight.

Helicopter parents endanger our butterfly children.