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Family Focus

September 2, 2014

The year I graduated from college (1970), 40 percent of U.S. households consisted of a married couple and their children. According to research summarized in AARP The Magazine’s June-July issue, the percentage was only 19 percent in 2013.

Even more startling is this: In 1960, five percent of U.S. births were to unmarried women. In 2012, it was 41 percent.

Very far from the most important impact these trends have on life in America today is the slice of American society we serve: competitive school sports.

In the 1960s and 1970s, schools would expect two parents in attendance for each child’s games or meets. In 2014, it is not unusual that one or infrequent that both parents are absent when their son or daughter competes.

Of course, school programs today have more boys sports and an almost entirely new slate of girls sports for parents to observe than two generations ago; and many times multiple events are scheduled simultaneously and force attentive parents to miss one child’s game while another child competes elsewhere.

It’s not my purpose here to point to specific strategies needed to keep parents constructively engaged in school sports. The limit of my commentary now is to offer a reminder, even to myself, that the manner in which we did things when the family unit looked one way is very likely in need of an overhaul, or at least a tweak, when the family unit looks very different.

The challenge, of course, is finding new avenues for old messages – fresh ways to deliver lasting core values. If we continue to proclaim that our brand is family friendly, we will meet this challenge.

Glue and Grace

October 9, 2012

Recent events, obvious to you, caused me to return to an article the MHSAA published in August of 1999.  Here it is again:

Three days after the tragedy at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, a retired athletic administrator whom I respect greatly and listened to intently, called me to say this: 

“You have an opportunity to speak to student-athletes in this state and across the country.  Talk to them about Littleton.”

This administrator wanted me to convey to athletes that they were not a part of the many and complex causes of the Columbine carnage, but they play a small part of the solution to help assure such craziness doesn’t occur closer to home.

The administrator was referencing some of the media reports that suggested the youthful killers took offense to the “jocks.”  Valid or not, these suggestions provide another wake-up call for those who claim that school-sponsored sports are healthy for the participants, school and community.

As a result, part of my conversations with student-athletes this year and the heart of my message to team captains in 1999-00, will be this:

    • Break down the walls, real or perceived, between the athletes of your schools and other students.  Avoid cliques limited to team members or even athletes in general.
    • When you walk the school halls and shopping malls, greet fellow students warmly, regardless of their involvement in school sports or other activities.  Let them know that you know they exist.
    • Become more sensitive to the needs of others, especially those who are different than you.  Appreciate that while you may be more gifted in some things, other students are more gifted in other things.  Show a genuine interest in those things. 
    • Understand that you are not the center of the universe.  Accept that it is your role to serve others, and not the other way around.
    • Don’t condescend, but concentrate on the rich worth of other people.  Seek them out.  Involve them.  Enter into their worlds and invite them into yours until such time as it is difficult to recognize different worlds in your school and community.

I believe this goal for the interscholastic athletic program, embraced by every administrator, participant and parent, would help us:  That  every participant be involved in academic and non-academic matters, athletic and non-athletic activities, be a star in one thing and a substitute in another, be on stage and backstage, in solo and ensemble, experiencing both winning and losing.

A student involved in such an experience as this could not help but provide glue and grace to a student body.

No student-athlete anywhere is remotely responsible for the massacre in Littleton, Colorado.  But student-athletes everywhere have an opportunity to be a small part of an environment that assures such a tragedy is not repeated where they live, study and play.  Talk to them.