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Family Focus

September 2, 2014

The year I graduated from college (1970), 40 percent of U.S. households consisted of a married couple and their children. According to research summarized in AARP The Magazine’s June-July issue, the percentage was only 19 percent in 2013.

Even more startling is this: In 1960, five percent of U.S. births were to unmarried women. In 2012, it was 41 percent.

Very far from the most important impact these trends have on life in America today is the slice of American society we serve: competitive school sports.

In the 1960s and 1970s, schools would expect two parents in attendance for each child’s games or meets. In 2014, it is not unusual that one or infrequent that both parents are absent when their son or daughter competes.

Of course, school programs today have more boys sports and an almost entirely new slate of girls sports for parents to observe than two generations ago; and many times multiple events are scheduled simultaneously and force attentive parents to miss one child’s game while another child competes elsewhere.

It’s not my purpose here to point to specific strategies needed to keep parents constructively engaged in school sports. The limit of my commentary now is to offer a reminder, even to myself, that the manner in which we did things when the family unit looked one way is very likely in need of an overhaul, or at least a tweak, when the family unit looks very different.

The challenge, of course, is finding new avenues for old messages – fresh ways to deliver lasting core values. If we continue to proclaim that our brand is family friendly, we will meet this challenge.

Don’t Look Back

November 23, 2011

In August of 1986, at the end of the one week of overlap between the previous MHSAA executive director, Vern Norris, and the start of my tenure, I found an envelope on my desk from Mr. Norris that read:  “No words of advice.  Just make your decisions and don’t look back.”  That’s Lesson No. 5 of six in this series of blogs.

In our work, time is of the essence.  We don’t have the luxury of long deliberations.  The next game may be today; the next round of the tournament tomorrow.

In our work, staff is limited.  We don’t have subpoena power.  We have few staff spread thinly over many responsibilities.

In our work, because it’s in a competitive arena, people are sometimes disingenuous.  Some have personal agendas, impure motives sometimes. They care who wins and loses; we don’t.

And most people have miserable memories.  I’m skeptical that people recall well the details of events; and people are even worse when recalling details of conversations.

So, in our work, we make one more call and then, with good intentions and reliance on rules, we get on with the decision and try not to look back.

It’s hard to do, but a good deal healthier if we can.