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Let Life Teach

December 7, 2012

Here’s a golden nugget from Ann Arbor’s Dr. Dan Saferstein’s little book, Win or Lose:  A Guide to Sports Parenting:

“Most of us have an easier time being math parents than we do being sports parents.  We don’t stand over our children as they’re doing their homework, hollering at them to round to the highest decimal or carry their zero.  We trust that they’ll be able to figure things out on their own, and if they can’t, they’ll get the help they need from their teachers or by asking us.

“What a lot of sports parents seem to forget is that young athletes also need the same space to figure things out on their own.  They need to learn how to think and make decisions during game situations, which isn’t easy to do when your parent (or someone else’s parent) is shouting out directions.

“The reality is that if your child could score a goal or stop a defender, he would.  In most cases, telling your child to move faster to the ball is like telling him to be taller.  Effort isn’t the only critical factor in sports, or in math.  Some children will never be high-level athletes no matter how hard they try, which is by no means a tragedy.  The world doesn’t necessarily need more gymnastics, softball or soccer stars.  It needs more young people who are willing to try and make our world a better place.”

Go to dansaferstein.com for more good stuff from the good doctor.

Members of the Same Team

April 2, 2013

The Basketball Coaches Association of Michigan (BCAM) is a leader among our state’s high school coaches associations, as well as of its counterpart organizations for the sport of basketball across the US.

The MHSAA has partnered with BCAM in numerous ways, including the “Reaching Higher” program to help prepare high school student-athletes for the college experience and in the “Top Shooters” and clinic aspects of the “March Magic Hoopfest” which will return in 2014 after taking a year off due to facility conflicts at Michigan State University.

One of the longest MHSAA-BCAM partnerships has been the Basketball Officials and Coaches Communications Committee (BOCCC).  One of the committee members, Mitch Hubbard of Reading High School, offered these candid and insightful comments in BCAM’s March 2013 Monthly Report:

Look Through Someone Else’s Window

Look through someone else’s window was the name of our Sunday school lesson.  The entire lesson was about how we should stop and try to see things the way others do.

I sat through the class nodding my head in agreement.  I kept thinking of situations where if people would do this, many conflicts could be avoided.  If only people would look at both sides of things, then the world would be a better place.

I then thought about the relationships that I have had with officials for the last 27 years.  I have never stopped to think about what the official was thinking or what they might be going through.  I have never even cared much about their feelings or their life happenings.  It has always been about me, my team, and my situation.  I usually think that the “refs” are against me and my team.  How could they call that?  What are they looking at?  What have I ever done to him?  These are the thoughts that led to my usual obnoxious comments or statements.

This season I took on the position of athletic director.  Part of the job is to greet the officials and escort them back and forth to the locker room.  For the first time in my career, I have had good, honest, open conversations with guys that I have known for years.  I found out that these guys have families, careers, injuries, honors, and all kinds of day-to-day happenings.  Some live close by and some travel long distances to referee.  I was amazed as to just how much these guys were like me!

If only I had stopped and taken the time to have a normal conversation with these guys years before, my perception may have been different.  If I would “look through someone else’s window” and realize that officials are normal people, maybe some uncomfortable situations could have been avoided.  I suppose the same goes for officials.  If they would try to see things through the window of the coach, they might see more than a screaming madman.

Officials and coaches want the same thing.  They both love the sport and want to protect it.  We need to work together to improve and enhance the game.  Communication and relationships between officials and coaches is critical.  We need to stop and take the time to “look through someone else’s window” and appreciate them.