After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
Century of School Sports: All-Time 'Parade of Champions'
By
Geoff Kimmerly
MHSAA.com senior editor
June 25, 2025
As we do every June, we will complete 2024-25 this week by publishing our “Parade of Champions” – a listing of every team to win an MHSAA Finals championship trophy this school year.
Recognizing about 130 champions annually – give or take a few if there were shared titles along the way during that past fall, winter and spring – it’s always an impressive list. So we’re plenty stoked – maybe even 100 times more – to present as our second-to-last “Century of School Sports” feature a few findings from our work-in-progress all-time “Parade of Champions.”
Eventually, the data we’ve collected will be provided on the MHSAA website as a searchable data base – there’s more work to come, and I’ll explain some of that below. But for today, here are some of the first facts that jump off the pages from this massive collection.
Starting with the biggest: Since its first titles were awarded to finish the Winter 1924-25 season, the MHSAA has recognized 6,876 teams for winning Finals championships.
Five schools have won at least 100 Finals titles, and 17 schools have won 50 or more. Marquette leads the list with 295, followed by East Grand Rapids (145), Escanaba (134), Ann Arbor Pioneer (122) and Detroit Country Day (107).
For several reasons, it’s difficult to compare championship totals among Upper Peninsula and Lower Peninsula schools as apples to apples – chiefly, schools in both peninsulas compete against each other in postseason competition in only 16 of 28 MHSAA-sponsored sports, and a handful of those 16 have little or no representation from the U.P. despite being statewide tournaments.
That said, here’s a look at some expanded school Finals title rankings, but by peninsula, going deeper on Lower Peninsula schools ranked because the majority of Michigan’s high schools are below Mackinac Bridge:
Lower Peninsula: 1. East Grand Rapids (145), 2. Ann Arbor Pioneer (122), 3. Detroit Country Day (107), 4. Bloomfield Hills Cranbrook Kingswood 88, 5. Detroit Catholic Central (74), 6. Bloomfield Hills Brother Rice (69), 7. Grosse Pointe Woods University Liggett (64), 8. Jackson Lumen Christi (55), 9. Petoskey (46), 10. Traverse City Central (45).
11. Okemos (44), 12. Detroit St. Martin dePorres (41), 13. East Lansing (39), 14. Rockford (37), T-15. Ann Arbor Greenhills (35), T-15. Birmingham Seaholm (35), 17. Flint Powers Catholic (33), T-18. Bloomfield Hills Marian (32), T-18. Kalamazoo Central (32), 20. Grand Rapids Forest Hills Northern (31).
Upper Peninsula: 1. Marquette (295), 2. Escanaba (134), 3. Iron Mountain (78), 4. Menominee (66), 5. Ishpeming Westwood (65), T-6. Ishpeming (64), T-6. Pickford (64), T-8. Negaunee (50), T-8. Ontonagon (50), 10. Houghton (49).
A few more interesting notes:
• Note Detroit dePorres at No. 12 among Lower Peninsula schools; dePorres closed in 2005. Flint Northern ranks 21st among Lower Peninsula schools with 30 championships despite closing in 2013. The former Ypsilanti High School, which consolidated with Willow Run in 2013 to form Ypsilanti Community, also is high on the list with 24 titles.
• Larger schools generally play more sports, and hence have more opportunities to win Finals titles. But Lower Peninsula small schools fell just outside those listed above, including Battle Creek St. Philip and Fowler – both with 29 championships – and Flint Beecher, Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep and Pewamo-Westphalia with 26 apiece.
• We don’t have an easy way – yet – to figure out which schools have won at least once in the most sports. But among the top five, East Grand Rapids and Marquette both have won titles in 18 sports, Country Day has won in 17, Ann Arbor Pioneer in 15 and Escanaba in 13. Pioneer’s 15 include boys gymnastics, which was sponsored by the MHSAA from 1925-31 and 1961-81.
• Detroit Catholic Central has the most championships among all-boys schools, among 11 sports. Bloomfield Hills Marian ranks highest among all-girls schools, with its titles covering seven sports.
As noted, this remains a work in progress, as we’re continuing to research several school closings, consolidations or other name changes over the last 100 years and how those might affect our championship totals. We also need to continue figuring in how to list championships won by cooperative programs and if those are credited to primary schools or as standalone programs.
In the meantime, we’ll continue to update the data with championships won each season, including in our new sports of girls field hockey and boys volleyball debuting in 2025-26. Once the data is fully edited and complete, we’ll add this substantial source to our growing collection of historical information available for all to enjoy.
Previous "Century of School Sports" Spotlights
June 17: Top Performers Tell Us What High School Sports Mean to Them - Read
June 10: 'The Mitten' Becomes Sought-After Symbol of MHSAA Greatness - Read
June 3: MHSAA's Move to TV, Now Internet, 60 Years Old & Growing - Read
May 27: Upper Peninsula Helps Make Michigan's School Sports Story Unique - Read
May 20: From Nearly A to Z, Schools Repped by 221 Nicknames - Read
May 13: These Record-Setters were Nearly Impossible to Defeat - Read
May 6: 200+ Representatives Fill All-Time Council Roster - Read
April 29: MHSAA Programs Prioritize Health & Safety - Read
April 23: Patches Signify Registered Officials' Role in MHSAA Story - Read
April 16: Student Advisory Council Gives Voice to Athletes - Read
April 9: State's Storytellers Share Spring Memories - Read
April 2: Sharp Leadership Synonymous with MHSAA Success - Read
March 25: Athletic Directors Indispensable to Mission of School Sports - Read
March 18: 2025 Finals Begin Next Half-Century of Girls Hoops Championships - Read
March 11: Boys Basketball's Best 1st to Earn MHSAA Finals Titles - Read
March 5: Everything We Do Begins with Participation - Read
Feb. 25: Slogans & Logos Remain Unforgettable Parts of MHSAA History - Read
Feb. 19: MHSAA Tickets Continue to Provide Fan-Friendly Value - Read
Feb. 11: We Recognize Those Who Make Our Games Go - Read
Feb. 4: WISL Conference Continues to Inspire Aspiring Leaders - Read
Jan. 28: Michigan's National Impact Begins at NFHS' Start - Read
Jan. 21: Awards Celebrate Well-Rounded Educational Experience - Read
Jan. 14: Predecessors Laid Foundation for MHSAA's Formation - Read
Jan. 9: MHSAA Blazes Trail Into Cyberspace - Read
Dec. 31: State's Storytellers Share Winter Memories - Read
Dec. 17: MHSAA Over Time - Read
Dec. 10: On This Day, December 13, We Will Celebrate - Read
Dec. 3: MHSAA Work Guided by Representative Council - Read
Nov. 26: Finals Provide Future Pros Early Ford Field Glory - Read
Nov. 19: Connection at Heart of Coaches Advancement Program - Read
Nov. 12: Good Sports are Winners Then, Now & Always - Read
Nov. 5: MHSAA's Home Sweet Home - Read
Oct. 29: MHSAA Summits Draw Thousands to Promote Sportsmanship - Read
Oct. 23: Cross Country Finals Among MHSAA's Longest Running - Read
Oct. 15: State's Storytellers Share Fall Memories - Read
Oct. 8: Guided by 4 S's of Educational Athletics - Read
Oct. 1: Michigan Sends 10 to National Hall of Fame - Read
Sept. 25: MHSAA Record Books Filled with 1000s of Achievements - Read
Sept. 18: Why Does the MHSAA Have These Rules? - Read
Sept. 10: Special Medals, Patches to Commemorate Special Year - Read
Sept. 4: Fall to Finish with 50th Football Championships - Read
Aug. 28: Let the Celebration Begin - Read
PHOTOS These are all past MHSAA Finals champions, clockwise from top left: The 2016 Detroit Country Day girls tennis team, 2004 Marquette ice hockey team, 1978 Ann Arbor Pioneer girls cross country team, 1981 Escanaba football team and 2013 East Grand Rapids girls lacrosse team.