After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
Century of School Sports: Slogans & Logos Remain Unforgettable Parts of MHSAA History
By
Geoff Kimmerly
MHSAA.com senior editor
February 25, 2025
Logos and slogans are meant to stick in your mind – and the MHSAA has created several that have become synonymous with the story of school sports.
When was the first time you saw the MHSAA logo? For me, it was on a ticket to watch my school at the 1993 Girls Basketball Semifinals at Kellogg Arena.
And I thought “Good Sports Are Winners” was just something everybody said about all things sportsmanship. I had no idea it headlined as the first of now several memorable MHSAA statements meant to do precisely what it did inside my teenage head – bury itself in our minds so we would hopefully recall the importance of being a good sport whenever we heard it.
The MHSAA’s “Century of School Sports” have really included only about a half-century of this type of messaging and branding. But no matter if you’ve spent your time with us as an athlete, coach, administrator, official, fan or a combination of those roles, some of what follows should jog your memory – and hopefully stir up plenty of good ones as well.
- Good Sports Are Winners!
Jack Roberts was hired as the MHSAA’s fourth full-time executive director in 1986. His first hire was John Johnson as one of, if not the first-of-a-kind communications director at a high school athletic association in the nation. One of their first undertakings was a campaign to improve sportsmanship – and “Good Sports Are Winners!” became their first and perhaps still most recognizable phrase.
- Sportsmanship Begins At Home
- We Need You To Be A Good Sport!
Sportsmanship is an idea that never graduates, but it also needs to be reintroduced frequently as generations of families make their ways through middle school to high school graduation. These were two more messages meant to encourage appropriate behavior at sporting events.
- Help Wanted: Just Whistle
- You Can Be A Referee
Recruiting and retaining game officials also is an annual drive, and these became part of the slogan-sphere over the last 15 years as those efforts increased due to decreasing numbers. “Be the Referee” became a weekly segment of the “This Week in High School Sports” five-minute show that airs on radio stations all over the state during the fall and winter seasons, and they always end with the call out “You Can Be A Referee” to enlist those who might be interested.
- We Are The MHSAA
This carried a certain boldness when read over the microphone at tournament events, and summed up neatly what being part of the MHSAA was all about. Paraphrasing: “We are … Coaches … administrators … and officials. … We are your school. We promote and protect the privilege of interscholastic competition. We make rules and follow them as a condition of membership. … We Are The MHSAA.”
- Promoting The Value – And Values – Of Educational Athletics
This sums up the MHSAA’s work and remains perhaps the favorite of all slogans used to describe it. We believe educational athletics have value – to participants, to their communities, and to society as a whole because of the adults they help produce. We also believe that educational athletics are reliant on specific values – sportsmanship, scholarship, safety and scope.
Those are the messages you’ve likely heard. But producing an identifiable image with the MHSAA and its work has been just as important – and below are explanations behind some of the familiar logos you see at the top of this page.
- First Logo: A Traditional Emblem (Last Used in 1987-88)
The first MHSAA logo featured the seal from the state flag, with “Michigan High School Athletic Association” surrounding it. It appeared on medals and official documents through the 1987-88 school year.
- The Round Logo: A Recognizable Symbol
In 1988, the MHSAA introduced a circular logo featuring Michigan’s Upper and Lower Peninsulas within a red border, with "MHSAA" prominently displayed.
- The Championship Logo: A Mark of Excellence
During the early 2000s, the MHSAA introduced a “championship” logo initially for tournament merchandise. Over time, it became the standard for all championship-related materials.
- The Modern MHSAA Logo: Evolving with Time
Debuting in 1987 – and designed by a pair of Sterling Heights Stevenson students as part of a contest – the modern logo introduced the bold "MHSAA" lettering with an interwoven "S" designed to convey motion and energy. Over time, its contours softened while maintaining its distinctive look. Initially, "Michigan High School Athletic Association" appeared beneath it, but in recent years, the text was removed for a cleaner, more streamlined design.
- The Centennial Celebration Logo
To mark its 100th anniversary, the MHSAA introduced a centennial logo, honoring its history. This commemorative design reflects a century of commitment to student-athletes and school communities.
Previous "Century of School Sports" Spotlights
Feb. 19: MHSAA Tickets Continue to Provide Fan-Friendly Value - Read
Feb. 11: We Recognize Those Who Make Our Games Go - Read
Feb. 4: WISL Conference Continues to Inspire Aspiring Leaders - Read
Jan. 28: Michigan's National Impact Begins at NFHS' Start - Read
Jan. 21: Awards Celebrate Well-Rounded Educational Experience - Read
Jan. 14: Predecessors Laid Foundation for MHSAA's Formation - Read
Jan. 9: MHSAA Blazes Trail Into Cyberspace - Read
Dec. 31: State's Storytellers Share Winter Memories - Read
Dec. 17: MHSAA Over Time - Read
Dec. 10: On This Day, December 13, We Will Celebrate - Read
Dec. 3: MHSAA Work Guided by Representative Council - Read
Nov. 26: Finals Provide Future Pros Early Ford Field Glory - Read
Nov. 19: Connection at Heart of Coaches Advancement Program - Read
Nov. 12: Good Sports are Winners Then, Now & Always - Read
Nov. 5: MHSAA's Home Sweet Home - Read
Oct. 29: MHSAA Summits Draw Thousands to Promote Sportsmanship - Read
Oct. 23: Cross Country Finals Among MHSAA's Longest Running - Read
Oct. 15: State's Storytellers Share Fall Memories - Read
Oct. 8: Guided by 4 S's of Educational Athletics - Read
Oct. 1: Michigan Sends 10 to National Hall of Fame - Read
Sept. 25: MHSAA Record Books Filled with 1000s of Achievements - Read
Sept. 18: Why Does the MHSAA Have These Rules? - Read
Sept. 10: Special Medals, Patches to Commemorate Special Year - Read
Sept. 4: Fall to Finish with 50th Football Championships - Read
Aug. 28: Let the Celebration Begin - Read