Coaches Must Set the Example
October 15, 2012
By Scott Westfall
MSU Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
NOTE: This is part one of a two-part viewpoint explaining the importance of coaches and parents setting proper examples for young athletes in their treatment of game officials.
In light of the recent uproar over NFL replacement officials, it seems that never before has it been so common and socially accepted to yell disgust at referees.
While this trend is prevalent in both professional and college football, it has unfortunately trickled down into the high school ranks. What is actually accomplished when a coach or fan yells at an official? Do people really believe that if they become irate, a ‘bad call’ will be erased? In all of my years watching, playing, and coaching athletics, not once have I seen a referee change his or her ruling because a coach or a fan yelled at him or her.
When adults lose control and scream at referees, who does this bad behavior really affect? Since youth learn their emotional control from adult leaders, I believe the true damage is done to the young minds that are witnessing their mentors lose their cool. After their display of anger, how can these same adults hope for kids to stay calm when things do not go their way in life? It is pure hypocrisy to expect otherwise.
Whether we like it or not, referees are the absolute authority in athletic contests; they control the game from start to finish, make the tough calls on the playing surface, and even decide who gets to stay and who is sent to the locker room. Yet, it is baffling how often their authority is disrespected.
It is the coach’s responsibility to establish his or her program as one that respects authority. Since players watch all of the moves their coaches make, it is imperative that coaches respect the officials – especially when the calls do not go their way. If a player sees his or her coach going berserk due to a ‘bad call,’ the same player will think it is OK to act like this down the road when upset or faced with adversity. Even more detrimental to these kids is hearing their coach preach a message but contradict it by not backing it up with actions.
Great high school coaches will use the playing surface as an extension of their classroom. In my years as a head coach, I tried my hardest to set a good example for my players and told them to never question, back-talk, or disrespect an official. However, I made the mistake of breaking my own rule on one occasion by questioning the referee’s judgment.
When I was a younger coach, I may have attributed my actions to the heat of the moment, or defended myself on the criteria that I was trying to stick up for my team. However, being a veteran leader who wanted to practice what I preached, I saw my mistake as a teaching moment.
The next practice, when we conducted team discipline conditioning, “Reminders” (usually reserved for players with unacceptable school behavior or poor grades), I asked my players what I had taught them about respecting authority and if I had broken my own rule. The players agreed that I had broken my rule and had not respected the referee.
I let them know that this rule applied to me as much as them. I then lined-up on the goal line and ran my own set of wind sprints as the players, assistant coaches, and managers watched in disbelief. Afterward, to even my surprise, several players thanked me for holding myself accountable.
One kid even had tears in his eyes, and said that after watching my self-imposed discipline, he wanted more than ever to be a man of his word and do the right thing.
Scott Westfall has spent the last 10 years as a teacher, coach, and athletic director in Fort Collins, Colo. He currently is working on his Doctorate at Michigan State University, with an emphasis in Sport Psychology and Athletic Administration, and assisting the MHSAA with its student leadership programs. Westfall is a former athlete who participated in football, wrestling, tennis and cross country at the high school level, and rugby at the collegiate level. He can be reached at [email protected].
PHOTO: Scott Westfall celebrates with his football team while serving as a coach at Boltz Middle School in Fort Collins, Colo.
Parents Master Art of Schedule Juggling
By
Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com
October 18, 2016
If it’s Tuesday, it must be volleyball — or is it soccer or maybe swimming?
Time to check the calendar, the phone app or the white board.
To keep up with two or more students involved in different sports in the same season, families have devised their own ways for keeping track of schedules.
The Carpenters, who have sons Matthew and Alex at Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep, use several calendars, including a master schedule in the kitchen.
The Perkins, whose daughters Lauren and Audrey attend Mattawan High School, rely mostly on the phone app Cozi to keep schedules straight.
For the parents, it’s a question of logistics and juggling, which sometimes takes a lot of creativity.
“We have electronic calendars and paper calendars to look at every morning,” dad Tim Carpenter said. “We talk about who’s going where and who’s going to do what at the start of each day to figure it out.
“I keep a sports calendar to share with all the family so they can see the different things going on. If we are ever home at night without a game, it’s a strange feeling.”
Besides the composite kitchen calendar, “We also have our iPhone calendar so we both can see one another’s calendar at the same time,” mom Julie Carpenter said.
“It’s pretty much Monday through Saturday, some game or practice. Sunday it’s Mass, groceries and laundry.”
The Perkins use a phone organizer app called Cozi.
“We try to get all the schedules in there so everybody knows where everybody else is,” mom Valerie Perkins said. “I usually have a white board on the kitchen counter that I update weekly, and it kind of tracks who’s got what when.
“The girls’ meets are on opposite days. Like Audrey will have something on Monday, Wednesday and Lauren has Tuesday and Thursday. Occasionally they both have Saturdays. Then we divide and conquer, for sure.”
With five children, the Carpenters try to split time evenly between all the activities.
Matthew, a senior, is Hackett’s soccer goalkeeper and Alex, a sophomore, plays junior varsity football. Oldest son, Josh, a sophomore at Michigan Tech, plays broom ball – and while his parents don’t travel to watch him play, the games are webcast during the winter.
The activities won’t end soon. Bennett, a sixth grader and Bethany, a third grader, both at St. Augustine in Kalamazoo, also are involved in sports.
The Carpenters try to attend all of their children’s games together, but sometimes that is not possible.
In that case, “We usually base it on who’s closer,” Tim Carpenter said. “If there’s one game south near where I work in Portage (at MANN+HUMMEL), I’ll usually go to that.
“If Julie (who works at Borgess-ProMed Physician Pediatrics in Richland) has only seen one of Alex’s games and I’ve seen two, she’ll go to Alex’s. We try to keep it even.”
Both parents were introduced to new sports once their sons got involved.
“(Our sons) haven’t done tennis or golf,” Julie Carpenter said. “Soccer’s got more action and excitement; basketball is similar. Skiing was neat because it’s such a close-knit community. Cross country was fun because it was a very team environment.
“I had not seen cross country before, but when Josh started cross country it was really exciting because we thought ‘OK, how much can you get out of cross country as a spectator?’ It was pretty exciting for us just to run from spot to spot. They’re such a close-knit group of kids.”
Whether there are five children or two, as in the Perkins family, parents face the same dilemma: trying to juggle work, practices and events.
“We usually try to trade off so we get an even mix of seeing the girls,” said Valerie Perkins, who works at Bronson Urology in Kalamazoo. “Sometimes Rob’s schedule dictates that. Sometimes it’s who’s ever closest.”
Rob Perkins, who works at TRW in Mattawan, said sometimes there’s a glitch.
“When they give us advance warning of what’s going on and it doesn’t change, then I can work around it,” he said.
“The only time it gets frustrating is when something changes at the very last minute, or maybe it was always the same and the girls’ stories change at the last minute,” he added, laughing.
Neither parent was familiar with the sports their daughters chose.
“With dive, Lauren started in eighth grade, so it evolved from a summer camp and she really enjoyed it,” Rob Perkins said. “We kind of fell into Kyle Oberhill, who’s the diving coach for (Kalamazoo College) and he manages the facilities for Western (Michigan University).
“He’s just really easy-going. (Lauren) excelled in it right away. As a freshman, she broke the school record. That kind of kept her motivated to keep going.”
Oberhill also had a workshop for parents to explain the intricacies of competitive diving, and that helped. Audrey, meanwhile, took on another sport new to her parents when she started playing volleyball in seventh grade.
“We didn’t know much about it, but the important thing to know about it is she enjoys it,” her dad said.
Rob Perkins said it would be much easier if volleyball and dive were not in the same season, but there is an upside.
“I would say, generally speaking, being in sports certainly builds their self-confidence, keeps them occupied.”
Their mother said she can see a positive influence of sports on their girls.
“I think sports have definitely improved them,” she said. “They’ve learned how to become leaders and work as a team, and I really appreciate that.
“I can see it develop in both of them over the years. Both are captains of their teams.”
And both sets of athletes said it’s important to see their parents at their games.
“It gives me more confidence,” Alex Carpenter said, “and makes me feel good that they want to see me play.”
Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.
PHOTOS: (Top) Mattawan parents Rob and Valerie Perkins cheer on their daughter Lauren during a recent swimming & diving meet. (Middle top) The Carpenters, clockwise from top left: Tim, Julie, Alex and Matthew. (Middle) The Perkins daughters, Lauren (left) and Audrey. (Middle below) Matthew, the Hackett soccer goalkeeper, looks to pass after gathering up a loose ball. (Below) Lauren Perkins dives during a meet. (Lauren Perkins head shot by Becky Anderson Photography, all other photos by Pam Shebest.)