Parents, Make a Pledge
October 24, 2012
By Scott Westfall
MSU Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
NOTE: This is the second of a two-part viewpoint explaining the importance of coaches and parents setting proper examples for young athletes in their treatment of game officials. Click to read Part 1.
From time to time, even the most well-intentioned parents yell at officials things they are not proud of later.
As the head coach, it is essential to communicate expectations at the annual preseason parent meeting. Let parents know you want this to be classy program, and you need their help. Inform them that you, your assistant coaches, and the players (their children) will not be yelling at officials, and that you would be grateful if they would do the same.
Let them know that although other teams and their fans might holler at the officials, this team will be above the fray.
Encourage parents to applaud players from both sides. While they undoubtedly want your team to win, it is a sign of class to applaud the opposition for a good effort and/or performance at the end of the contest. In addition, ask your parents to sign a Parent Pledge Form stating that they will hold themselves to a higher standard. See an example below:
I. I pledge to respect the sport. I understand the importance of setting a good example for my child. No matter what others may do, I will show respect for all involved including coaches, players, opposing coaches, opposing players, opposing fans and officials. I understand that officials make mistakes. If the official makes a bad call against our team, I will respect the sport and remain silent.
Initials: ________ Initials: ________
II. I pledge to contribute to a positive team culture. I will not be the parent in the stands or behind the scenes who puts down the kids or the team. I understand this creates a negative atmosphere and can damage a team’s culture. If I have any problem, I pledge to either bring it to the coach with a solution-oriented mindset, or choose to remain silent. In either case, I will contribute only in a positive way to my child’s team culture.
Initials: ________ Initials: ________
After instituting this practice, the first season might seem like more of an experiment. The second season may become a work in progress. But by the time the kids and parents have been in the program for three and four years, it will have become the norm and soon a tradition that is gladly passed down to the new families in the program.
The mantra of your parents will change, and they will take pride in acting differently than what they see at other schools. Other teams will see your parents stand up and applaud participants from both sides during wins and losses, and this act of class will become your team’s identity.
Respecting authority is essential in any society. This respect must be given to judges, policemen and school principals, to teachers, coaches and even referees.
Reinstituting this respect for officials is going to be a challenge, but a challenge that is worthwhile. A coach has the power to transform a program, which will in turn affect the way assistant coaches, parents, and fans conduct themselves.
In the end, the individuals who will receive the greatest benefit are the ones you are doing your job for in the first place – the kids.
Scott Westfall has spent the last 10 years as a teacher, coach, and athletic director in Fort Collins, Colo. He currently is working on his Doctorate at Michigan State University, with an emphasis in Sport Psychology and Athletic Administration, and assisting the MHSAA with its student leadership programs. Westfall is a former athlete who participated in football, wrestling, tennis and cross country at the high school level, and rugby at the collegiate level. He can be reached at [email protected].
NFHS Voice: 'New Normal' Sportsmanship
May 20, 2020
By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director
The “new normal” is one of the many terms we hear repeatedly as the country begins its return to normal activities from the COVID-19 pandemic. Keeping six feet apart from other people, wearing a mask and frequent washing of hands are three of those important warnings.
And then there is the new “no-no” that cuts at the heart of high school sports – the handshake. Shaking hands has been a part of our culture for centuries and a mainstream of high school sports forever. It is hard to imagine high school sports without handshakes.
In addition to emotional displays among team members involving handshakes, high-fives and hugs, the handshake has been a way of demonstrating good sportsmanship toward the opponent.
In wrestling, for instance, shaking hands before a match is actually a part of the rules, which, of course, will have to be relaxed for the coming season. There are handshakes at the coin toss in football and before the opening jump ball in basketball.
After a hard-fought, back-and-forth tennis match, players meet at the net to shake hands – congratulating each other for their efforts. The actions are the same after golfers battle each other for 18 holes – removing the cap and shaking hands.
These age-old practices demonstrate respect for the opponent, and in the case of post-game handshakes, graciousness in victory or defeat.
The emotions in high school sports are often off the chart, with end-of-game celebrations by players, coaches and fans involving handshakes, high-fives and hugs. So, as the early phases of return to sports occur this fall, how do we meet social distance guidelines and continue to exhibit emotions and emphasize sportsmanship, which typically have involved touching between individuals?
While the social-distancing and no-contact guidelines are necessary – at least for the short term – to diminish the spread of the virus, they should not dampen the enthusiasm and emotion by everyone involved with high school sports. We hope these types of restrictions will be lifted at some point down the road, but for now, this is our “new normal.”
The absence of these time-honored ways to express respect for the opponent does not diminish the importance of displaying sportsmanship in high school sports. In fact, we believe concern for fairness and displays of kindness, respect and graciousness will be more pronounced once high school sports resume; however, the methods of sharing these feelings will be different.
Although perhaps not as endearing as a handshake, high-five or hug, there are other ways to express these feelings and emotions – for the opponent as well as teammates.
Some alternatives to consider are a slight bow with the palms pressed together, an air high-five, a smile and quick wave, a double-tap of the right hand across the heart and a wink with the thumbs up. Certainly, there are other possibilities – in fact, teams could develop their own methods for demonstrating sportsmanship to their opponents and celebrating big plays or victories with teammates. Through their resilience and great spirit, we look forward to how the millions of participants in high school sports and activities will accept this challenge.
There will be many concessions necessary to resume athletic competition, and shaking hands is one that must cease – at least for now. However, let’s view this change as an opportunity to find new ways to showcase sportsmanship in high school sports.
Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.