Parents, Make a Pledge
October 24, 2012
By Scott Westfall
MSU Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
NOTE: This is the second of a two-part viewpoint explaining the importance of coaches and parents setting proper examples for young athletes in their treatment of game officials. Click to read Part 1.
From time to time, even the most well-intentioned parents yell at officials things they are not proud of later.
As the head coach, it is essential to communicate expectations at the annual preseason parent meeting. Let parents know you want this to be classy program, and you need their help. Inform them that you, your assistant coaches, and the players (their children) will not be yelling at officials, and that you would be grateful if they would do the same.
Let them know that although other teams and their fans might holler at the officials, this team will be above the fray.
Encourage parents to applaud players from both sides. While they undoubtedly want your team to win, it is a sign of class to applaud the opposition for a good effort and/or performance at the end of the contest. In addition, ask your parents to sign a Parent Pledge Form stating that they will hold themselves to a higher standard. See an example below:
I. I pledge to respect the sport. I understand the importance of setting a good example for my child. No matter what others may do, I will show respect for all involved including coaches, players, opposing coaches, opposing players, opposing fans and officials. I understand that officials make mistakes. If the official makes a bad call against our team, I will respect the sport and remain silent.
Initials: ________ Initials: ________
II. I pledge to contribute to a positive team culture. I will not be the parent in the stands or behind the scenes who puts down the kids or the team. I understand this creates a negative atmosphere and can damage a team’s culture. If I have any problem, I pledge to either bring it to the coach with a solution-oriented mindset, or choose to remain silent. In either case, I will contribute only in a positive way to my child’s team culture.
Initials: ________ Initials: ________
After instituting this practice, the first season might seem like more of an experiment. The second season may become a work in progress. But by the time the kids and parents have been in the program for three and four years, it will have become the norm and soon a tradition that is gladly passed down to the new families in the program.
The mantra of your parents will change, and they will take pride in acting differently than what they see at other schools. Other teams will see your parents stand up and applaud participants from both sides during wins and losses, and this act of class will become your team’s identity.
Respecting authority is essential in any society. This respect must be given to judges, policemen and school principals, to teachers, coaches and even referees.
Reinstituting this respect for officials is going to be a challenge, but a challenge that is worthwhile. A coach has the power to transform a program, which will in turn affect the way assistant coaches, parents, and fans conduct themselves.
In the end, the individuals who will receive the greatest benefit are the ones you are doing your job for in the first place – the kids.
Scott Westfall has spent the last 10 years as a teacher, coach, and athletic director in Fort Collins, Colo. He currently is working on his Doctorate at Michigan State University, with an emphasis in Sport Psychology and Athletic Administration, and assisting the MHSAA with its student leadership programs. Westfall is a former athlete who participated in football, wrestling, tennis and cross country at the high school level, and rugby at the collegiate level. He can be reached at [email protected].
Involvement vs. Meaningful Involvement
November 27, 2012
By Jed Blanton
MSU Institute for the Study of Youth Sports
As I've worked with the MHSAA in student leadership development and through my role in performance consulting and mental training, a number of coaches and athletes have asked me how to “get kids to buy in” or see the vision of their coach/captain, etc.
Particularly in high school sports, rosters consist of players with reasons for participating in their sport that range from pure enjoyment and social life, all the way to kids with aspirations and ability to play in the highest level of college athletics.
Having a range of talent, and then a range of desire and commitment can be a difficult load to balance as a coach.
Based on the questions I've been posed over the years, it seems that the magic answer lies somewhere in this notion of “buy-in” and if, just if, the coach could trigger that “buy-in” everything would work out. A winning season or at least a more successful season would be a certainty, and all the athletes would be emotionally involved, or more so, emotionally invested, as well as completely and fully physically and mentally committed to THE GAME.
This almost sounds like the ideal ending of a Disney sports movie … but that doesn't mean it isn't a possibility, and we can find some ways to make your reality closer to this vision.
The trick is … there is no trick; there is no magic formula. The ability to create “buy-in” means giving up something that might make a coach shudder and cringe just a bit. My challenge to coaches is this: Give up control. SHARE some of the duties and tasks you feel are your job, with … your players.
DON’T hit the back button or close your browser just yet. Let me explain.
The first thing to understand here is how people learn. If we want our athletes to “buy in,” we may have to teach “buy-in” first, which involves understanding how people learn behaviors and adopt a mentality, as the state of “buy-in” would be considered.
Psychologically, we know that people can learn merely from watching and modeling others. But in the short-term, this tends to include only behaviors, not the more abstract notions of passion or commitment which is seemingly what coaches desire more of in their players when we talk about “buy-in.”
However, it is important. So the first thing a coach needs to do is behave in such ways that indicate they are “bought in,” more so than just telling kids to be more committed. Have you ever stopped to think about what it looks like when someone has “bought in” to an athletic team’s vision? Do you have a team vision statement to guide behaviors and goals?
The next step in how people learn new behaviors upon watching others is having those behaviors they are attempting to mimic reinforced. Encouraging players and showing gratitude to those who demonstrate the desired mentality will help foster the expectations you have for your players. I must point out here that punishing or dismissing players and behaviors that stray from this desired state won’t help the learning process.
Next, and here is where the challenge lies, is sacrificing some control and sharing some responsibilities with your players. This entails involving them in the process of the sport. So often our high school athletes experience sport very passively. They are told what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. Then critiqued, sometimes put down and constantly judged on their abilities to do very little else than act in the ways they are told to act.
There is no option for personal investment here. Trust is the guiding factor. And while trust is extremely important, it’s not what may ultimately create “buy-in.”
Involvement fosters ownership. Meaningful involvement requires an emotional investment because the amount of responsibility increases. So what does being meaningfully involved look like? Being meaningfully involved in the sport as an athlete would mean being able to make decisions that are then actually carried out before they are critiqued. If you ask a player what they think about any given decision, then tell them what you think (which is also what they’ll do), you are merely seeking input rather than allowing them to be involved. What would it look like if the captain or senior players were able to set the starting line-up or batting order? Or what if the athletes were in charge of running a two-hour practice once a week? How about letting one or two of the athletes decide what play is going to be run in the final minutes of a close game? I mentioned the word “trust” earlier, and the key in these examples is coaches are showing athletes “trust.” This just might be what fosters the all important “buy-in.”
The hardest part on the coaches’ end is letting the decision play out, and then talking about why it may have failed. Discussing it rationally, debriefing the decision, and allowing them to process where the mistake was made without placing blame on them is where athletes can really learn about their sport, their role on the team, and how to make tough decisions while sharing in the full experience of the competition and preparation.
There is always a chance they’ll make the same decision you would make as the coach. After all, they have been practicing in your system. This is a great way to assess if you are having an impact and if your athletes are learning rather than just passively participating.
As a former athlete, I can honestly say I never truly understood my sport (distance running) until I was asked to serve as a race director or create training programs for younger athletes and people interested in taking their running to a more competitive level. I’m sure for most first-time coaches, the number of decisions you have to make humbles your former-athlete self rather quickly.
Watching the student leadership program participants I work with struggle with projects and presentations they are asked to design is tough, and I want nothing more than to help them and make sure that it’s “right.” But I can also say that in those times when I've been able to see the end result in those instances when they made the decisions, they created something on their own, they are happier, more knowledgeable, and certainly “bought in,” as they have control for the first time.
Blanton is a doctoral candidate at Michigan State University in the department of Kinesiology, specializing in the PsychoSocial Aspects of Sport and Physical Activity, and a research assistant for MSU's Institute for the Study of Youth Sports. He has served as a facilitator at MHSAA Captains Clinics the last three years and currently is assisting the association with its student leadership programs.