Parents Master Art of Schedule Juggling
By
Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com
October 18, 2016
If it’s Tuesday, it must be volleyball — or is it soccer or maybe swimming?
Time to check the calendar, the phone app or the white board.
To keep up with two or more students involved in different sports in the same season, families have devised their own ways for keeping track of schedules.
The Carpenters, who have sons Matthew and Alex at Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep, use several calendars, including a master schedule in the kitchen.
The Perkins, whose daughters Lauren and Audrey attend Mattawan High School, rely mostly on the phone app Cozi to keep schedules straight.
For the parents, it’s a question of logistics and juggling, which sometimes takes a lot of creativity.
“We have electronic calendars and paper calendars to look at every morning,” dad Tim Carpenter said. “We talk about who’s going where and who’s going to do what at the start of each day to figure it out.
“I keep a sports calendar to share with all the family so they can see the different things going on. If we are ever home at night without a game, it’s a strange feeling.”
Besides the composite kitchen calendar, “We also have our iPhone calendar so we both can see one another’s calendar at the same time,” mom Julie Carpenter said.
“It’s pretty much Monday through Saturday, some game or practice. Sunday it’s Mass, groceries and laundry.”
The Perkins use a phone organizer app called Cozi.
“We try to get all the schedules in there so everybody knows where everybody else is,” mom Valerie Perkins said. “I usually have a white board on the kitchen counter that I update weekly, and it kind of tracks who’s got what when.
“The girls’ meets are on opposite days. Like Audrey will have something on Monday, Wednesday and Lauren has Tuesday and Thursday. Occasionally they both have Saturdays. Then we divide and conquer, for sure.”
With five children, the Carpenters try to split time evenly between all the activities.
Matthew, a senior, is Hackett’s soccer goalkeeper and Alex, a sophomore, plays junior varsity football. Oldest son, Josh, a sophomore at Michigan Tech, plays broom ball – and while his parents don’t travel to watch him play, the games are webcast during the winter.
The activities won’t end soon. Bennett, a sixth grader and Bethany, a third grader, both at St. Augustine in Kalamazoo, also are involved in sports.
The Carpenters try to attend all of their children’s games together, but sometimes that is not possible.
In that case, “We usually base it on who’s closer,” Tim Carpenter said. “If there’s one game south near where I work in Portage (at MANN+HUMMEL), I’ll usually go to that.
“If Julie (who works at Borgess-ProMed Physician Pediatrics in Richland) has only seen one of Alex’s games and I’ve seen two, she’ll go to Alex’s. We try to keep it even.”
Both parents were introduced to new sports once their sons got involved.
“(Our sons) haven’t done tennis or golf,” Julie Carpenter said. “Soccer’s got more action and excitement; basketball is similar. Skiing was neat because it’s such a close-knit community. Cross country was fun because it was a very team environment.
“I had not seen cross country before, but when Josh started cross country it was really exciting because we thought ‘OK, how much can you get out of cross country as a spectator?’ It was pretty exciting for us just to run from spot to spot. They’re such a close-knit group of kids.”
Whether there are five children or two, as in the Perkins family, parents face the same dilemma: trying to juggle work, practices and events.
“We usually try to trade off so we get an even mix of seeing the girls,” said Valerie Perkins, who works at Bronson Urology in Kalamazoo. “Sometimes Rob’s schedule dictates that. Sometimes it’s who’s ever closest.”
Rob Perkins, who works at TRW in Mattawan, said sometimes there’s a glitch.
“When they give us advance warning of what’s going on and it doesn’t change, then I can work around it,” he said.
“The only time it gets frustrating is when something changes at the very last minute, or maybe it was always the same and the girls’ stories change at the last minute,” he added, laughing.
Neither parent was familiar with the sports their daughters chose.
“With dive, Lauren started in eighth grade, so it evolved from a summer camp and she really enjoyed it,” Rob Perkins said. “We kind of fell into Kyle Oberhill, who’s the diving coach for (Kalamazoo College) and he manages the facilities for Western (Michigan University).
“He’s just really easy-going. (Lauren) excelled in it right away. As a freshman, she broke the school record. That kind of kept her motivated to keep going.”
Oberhill also had a workshop for parents to explain the intricacies of competitive diving, and that helped. Audrey, meanwhile, took on another sport new to her parents when she started playing volleyball in seventh grade.
“We didn’t know much about it, but the important thing to know about it is she enjoys it,” her dad said.
Rob Perkins said it would be much easier if volleyball and dive were not in the same season, but there is an upside.
“I would say, generally speaking, being in sports certainly builds their self-confidence, keeps them occupied.”
Their mother said she can see a positive influence of sports on their girls.
“I think sports have definitely improved them,” she said. “They’ve learned how to become leaders and work as a team, and I really appreciate that.
“I can see it develop in both of them over the years. Both are captains of their teams.”
And both sets of athletes said it’s important to see their parents at their games.
“It gives me more confidence,” Alex Carpenter said, “and makes me feel good that they want to see me play.”
Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.
PHOTOS: (Top) Mattawan parents Rob and Valerie Perkins cheer on their daughter Lauren during a recent swimming & diving meet. (Middle top) The Carpenters, clockwise from top left: Tim, Julie, Alex and Matthew. (Middle) The Perkins daughters, Lauren (left) and Audrey. (Middle below) Matthew, the Hackett soccer goalkeeper, looks to pass after gathering up a loose ball. (Below) Lauren Perkins dives during a meet. (Lauren Perkins head shot by Becky Anderson Photography, all other photos by Pam Shebest.)
NFHS Voice: 'New Normal' Sportsmanship
May 20, 2020
By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director
The “new normal” is one of the many terms we hear repeatedly as the country begins its return to normal activities from the COVID-19 pandemic. Keeping six feet apart from other people, wearing a mask and frequent washing of hands are three of those important warnings.
And then there is the new “no-no” that cuts at the heart of high school sports – the handshake. Shaking hands has been a part of our culture for centuries and a mainstream of high school sports forever. It is hard to imagine high school sports without handshakes.
In addition to emotional displays among team members involving handshakes, high-fives and hugs, the handshake has been a way of demonstrating good sportsmanship toward the opponent.
In wrestling, for instance, shaking hands before a match is actually a part of the rules, which, of course, will have to be relaxed for the coming season. There are handshakes at the coin toss in football and before the opening jump ball in basketball.
After a hard-fought, back-and-forth tennis match, players meet at the net to shake hands – congratulating each other for their efforts. The actions are the same after golfers battle each other for 18 holes – removing the cap and shaking hands.
These age-old practices demonstrate respect for the opponent, and in the case of post-game handshakes, graciousness in victory or defeat.
The emotions in high school sports are often off the chart, with end-of-game celebrations by players, coaches and fans involving handshakes, high-fives and hugs. So, as the early phases of return to sports occur this fall, how do we meet social distance guidelines and continue to exhibit emotions and emphasize sportsmanship, which typically have involved touching between individuals?
While the social-distancing and no-contact guidelines are necessary – at least for the short term – to diminish the spread of the virus, they should not dampen the enthusiasm and emotion by everyone involved with high school sports. We hope these types of restrictions will be lifted at some point down the road, but for now, this is our “new normal.”
The absence of these time-honored ways to express respect for the opponent does not diminish the importance of displaying sportsmanship in high school sports. In fact, we believe concern for fairness and displays of kindness, respect and graciousness will be more pronounced once high school sports resume; however, the methods of sharing these feelings will be different.
Although perhaps not as endearing as a handshake, high-five or hug, there are other ways to express these feelings and emotions – for the opponent as well as teammates.
Some alternatives to consider are a slight bow with the palms pressed together, an air high-five, a smile and quick wave, a double-tap of the right hand across the heart and a wink with the thumbs up. Certainly, there are other possibilities – in fact, teams could develop their own methods for demonstrating sportsmanship to their opponents and celebrating big plays or victories with teammates. Through their resilience and great spirit, we look forward to how the millions of participants in high school sports and activities will accept this challenge.
There will be many concessions necessary to resume athletic competition, and shaking hands is one that must cease – at least for now. However, let’s view this change as an opportunity to find new ways to showcase sportsmanship in high school sports.
Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.