Parents Master Art of Schedule Juggling

By Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com

October 18, 2016

If it’s Tuesday, it must be volleyball — or is it soccer or maybe swimming?

Time to check the calendar, the phone app or the white board.

To keep up with two or more students involved in different sports in the same season, families have devised their own ways for keeping track of schedules.

The Carpenters, who have sons Matthew and Alex at Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep, use several calendars, including a master schedule in the kitchen.

The Perkins, whose daughters Lauren and Audrey attend Mattawan High School, rely mostly on the phone app Cozi to keep schedules straight.

For the parents, it’s a question of logistics and juggling, which sometimes takes a lot of creativity.

“We have electronic calendars and paper calendars to look at every morning,” dad Tim Carpenter said. “We talk about who’s going where and who’s going to do what at the start of each day to figure it out.

“I keep a sports calendar to share with all the family so they can see the different things going on. If we are ever home at night without a game, it’s a strange feeling.”

Besides the composite kitchen calendar, “We also have our iPhone calendar so we both can see one another’s calendar at the same time,” mom Julie Carpenter said.

“It’s pretty much Monday through Saturday, some game or practice. Sunday it’s Mass, groceries and laundry.”

The Perkins use a phone organizer app called Cozi.

“We try to get all the schedules in there so everybody knows where everybody else is,” mom Valerie Perkins said. “I usually have a white board on the kitchen counter that I update weekly, and it kind of tracks who’s got what when. 

“The girls’ meets are on opposite days. Like Audrey will have something on Monday, Wednesday and Lauren has Tuesday and Thursday. Occasionally they both have Saturdays. Then we divide and conquer, for sure.”

With five children, the Carpenters try to split time evenly between all the activities.

Matthew, a senior, is Hackett’s soccer goalkeeper and Alex, a sophomore, plays junior varsity football. Oldest son, Josh, a sophomore at Michigan Tech, plays broom ball – and while his parents don’t travel to watch him play, the games are webcast during the winter.

The activities won’t end soon. Bennett, a sixth grader and Bethany, a third grader, both at St. Augustine in Kalamazoo, also are involved in sports.

The Carpenters try to attend all of their children’s games together, but sometimes that is not possible. 

In that case, “We usually base it on who’s closer,” Tim Carpenter said. “If there’s one game south near where I work in Portage (at MANN+HUMMEL), I’ll usually go to that.

“If Julie (who works at Borgess-ProMed Physician Pediatrics in Richland) has only seen one of Alex’s games and I’ve seen two, she’ll go to Alex’s. We try to keep it even.”

Both parents were introduced to new sports once their sons got involved.

“(Our sons) haven’t done tennis or golf,” Julie Carpenter said. “Soccer’s got more action and excitement; basketball is similar. Skiing was neat because it’s such a close-knit community. Cross country was fun because it was a very team environment.

“I had not seen cross country before, but when Josh started cross country it was really exciting because we thought ‘OK, how much can you get out of cross country as a spectator?’ It was pretty exciting for us just to run from spot to spot. They’re such a close-knit group of kids.”

Whether there are five children or two, as in the Perkins family, parents face the same dilemma: trying to juggle work, practices and events.

“We usually try to trade off so we get an even mix of seeing the girls,” said Valerie Perkins, who works at Bronson Urology in Kalamazoo. “Sometimes Rob’s schedule dictates that. Sometimes it’s who’s ever closest.”

Rob Perkins, who works at TRW in Mattawan, said sometimes there’s a glitch. 

“When they give us advance warning of what’s going on and it doesn’t change, then I can work around it,” he said. 

“The only time it gets frustrating is when something changes at the very last minute, or maybe it was always the same and the girls’ stories change at the last minute,” he added, laughing.

Neither parent was familiar with the sports their daughters chose.

“With dive, Lauren started in eighth grade, so it evolved from a summer camp and she really enjoyed it,” Rob Perkins said. “We kind of fell into Kyle Oberhill, who’s the diving coach for (Kalamazoo College) and he manages the facilities for Western (Michigan University).

“He’s just really easy-going. (Lauren) excelled in it right away. As a freshman, she broke the school record. That kind of kept her motivated to keep going.”

Oberhill also had a workshop for parents to explain the intricacies of competitive diving, and that helped. Audrey, meanwhile, took on another sport new to her parents when she started playing volleyball in seventh grade.

“We didn’t know much about it, but the important thing to know about it is she enjoys it,” her dad said.

Rob Perkins said it would be much easier if volleyball and dive were not in the same season, but there is an upside.

“I would say, generally speaking, being in sports certainly builds their self-confidence, keeps them occupied.”

Their mother said she can see a positive influence of sports on their girls.

“I think sports have definitely improved them,” she said. “They’ve learned how to become leaders and work as a team, and I really appreciate that.

“I can see it develop in both of them over the years. Both are captains of their teams.”

And both sets of athletes said it’s important to see their parents at their games.

“It gives me more confidence,” Alex Carpenter said, “and makes me feel good that they want to see me play.” 

Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.

PHOTOS: (Top) Mattawan parents Rob and Valerie Perkins cheer on their daughter Lauren during a recent swimming & diving meet. (Middle top) The Carpenters, clockwise from top left: Tim, Julie, Alex and Matthew. (Middle) The Perkins daughters, Lauren (left) and Audrey. (Middle below) Matthew, the Hackett soccer goalkeeper, looks to pass after gathering up a loose ball. (Below) Lauren Perkins dives during a meet. (Lauren Perkins head shot by Becky Anderson Photography, all other photos by Pam Shebest.) 

NFHS Voice: Give Thanks for Officials

February 19, 2020

By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director

While the behavior of parents and other fans at high school games is still a work in progress, there is some good news on the officiating front.

Last fall, we reported on a growing shortage of officials nationwide – even reaching a crisis stage in some areas as games were being cancelled. Through a nationwide recruitment effort, progress is being made in attracting more people to the high school officiating avocation. 

Thanks to the NFHS’ #BecomeAnOfficial campaign that was launched in the spring of 2017, more than 4,000 men and women across the country have registered and become certified officials. Many of these individuals are former high school athletes who want to remain involved in sports, earn some extra income and stay in shape, including first responders such as police officers, firefighters and EMTs. 

On the flip side, however, is the fear that any gains in new officials coming in the front door are being offset by other officials heading out the back door because of the continued boorish behavior on the part of parents and other fans.

Rickey Neaves, associate director of the Mississippi High School Activities Association, is struggling to cover all basketball games in his state in his role as officials’ coordinator.

“Fans and coaches alike feel freer to downgrade officials, and holler and scream at them, as opposed to the way it was 10 years ago,” Neaves said. “You can see where it is getting worse and worse with parents and coaches blaming officials or staying on an official to the point where they’re just not going to take it, so they just get out.”

Unfortunately, we continue to hear reports like this from across the country. A recent survey conducted by Officially Human: Behind the Stripes that was completed by about 19,000 respondents in 14 states indicated that the problem persists, with fans who do not know the rules being the main culprit.

If efforts by the NFHS at the national level – and others at state and local levels – to attract more people to officiating are to be successful, unsportsmanlike behavior on the part of parents and other fans must cease or we will lose some of these new officials within two years.

While we recognize the task of improving the culture at high school events is challenging and is one more item on the busy plates of school administrators, it is essential if we are to retain officials.

Brenda Hilton, founder of Officially Human: Beyond the Stripes, said, “The time is now for all of us to realize that officials are human and their existence and hard work at sporting events allows all of us to enjoy the games that we love. We must start to humanize officials now before the whistles fall silent.” 

Recognition and thanks should also be a part of the game plan. We must regularly share our appreciation for the men and women who officiate high school sports.

Dana Pappas, commissioner of officials for the New Mexico Officials Association, shared the following with officials in her state during a special appreciation week:

“Never think that what you do as an official doesn’t matter because it does. Never let one contest where the fans are exceedingly brutal and the scrutiny is overly intense derail your love for what you do. Never think that you are not making a difference because you most definitely are. You are educators, role models and guardians of the integrity of the sport you officiate. You officiate because you care about kids, you care about your chosen sport and you care about your community.”

Instead of viewing these officiating issues as a crisis, let’s see them as an opportunity to impact lives through education-based athletics.

Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.