Parents Master Art of Schedule Juggling

By Pam Shebest
Special for MHSAA.com

October 18, 2016

If it’s Tuesday, it must be volleyball — or is it soccer or maybe swimming?

Time to check the calendar, the phone app or the white board.

To keep up with two or more students involved in different sports in the same season, families have devised their own ways for keeping track of schedules.

The Carpenters, who have sons Matthew and Alex at Kalamazoo Hackett Catholic Prep, use several calendars, including a master schedule in the kitchen.

The Perkins, whose daughters Lauren and Audrey attend Mattawan High School, rely mostly on the phone app Cozi to keep schedules straight.

For the parents, it’s a question of logistics and juggling, which sometimes takes a lot of creativity.

“We have electronic calendars and paper calendars to look at every morning,” dad Tim Carpenter said. “We talk about who’s going where and who’s going to do what at the start of each day to figure it out.

“I keep a sports calendar to share with all the family so they can see the different things going on. If we are ever home at night without a game, it’s a strange feeling.”

Besides the composite kitchen calendar, “We also have our iPhone calendar so we both can see one another’s calendar at the same time,” mom Julie Carpenter said.

“It’s pretty much Monday through Saturday, some game or practice. Sunday it’s Mass, groceries and laundry.”

The Perkins use a phone organizer app called Cozi.

“We try to get all the schedules in there so everybody knows where everybody else is,” mom Valerie Perkins said. “I usually have a white board on the kitchen counter that I update weekly, and it kind of tracks who’s got what when. 

“The girls’ meets are on opposite days. Like Audrey will have something on Monday, Wednesday and Lauren has Tuesday and Thursday. Occasionally they both have Saturdays. Then we divide and conquer, for sure.”

With five children, the Carpenters try to split time evenly between all the activities.

Matthew, a senior, is Hackett’s soccer goalkeeper and Alex, a sophomore, plays junior varsity football. Oldest son, Josh, a sophomore at Michigan Tech, plays broom ball – and while his parents don’t travel to watch him play, the games are webcast during the winter.

The activities won’t end soon. Bennett, a sixth grader and Bethany, a third grader, both at St. Augustine in Kalamazoo, also are involved in sports.

The Carpenters try to attend all of their children’s games together, but sometimes that is not possible. 

In that case, “We usually base it on who’s closer,” Tim Carpenter said. “If there’s one game south near where I work in Portage (at MANN+HUMMEL), I’ll usually go to that.

“If Julie (who works at Borgess-ProMed Physician Pediatrics in Richland) has only seen one of Alex’s games and I’ve seen two, she’ll go to Alex’s. We try to keep it even.”

Both parents were introduced to new sports once their sons got involved.

“(Our sons) haven’t done tennis or golf,” Julie Carpenter said. “Soccer’s got more action and excitement; basketball is similar. Skiing was neat because it’s such a close-knit community. Cross country was fun because it was a very team environment.

“I had not seen cross country before, but when Josh started cross country it was really exciting because we thought ‘OK, how much can you get out of cross country as a spectator?’ It was pretty exciting for us just to run from spot to spot. They’re such a close-knit group of kids.”

Whether there are five children or two, as in the Perkins family, parents face the same dilemma: trying to juggle work, practices and events.

“We usually try to trade off so we get an even mix of seeing the girls,” said Valerie Perkins, who works at Bronson Urology in Kalamazoo. “Sometimes Rob’s schedule dictates that. Sometimes it’s who’s ever closest.”

Rob Perkins, who works at TRW in Mattawan, said sometimes there’s a glitch. 

“When they give us advance warning of what’s going on and it doesn’t change, then I can work around it,” he said. 

“The only time it gets frustrating is when something changes at the very last minute, or maybe it was always the same and the girls’ stories change at the last minute,” he added, laughing.

Neither parent was familiar with the sports their daughters chose.

“With dive, Lauren started in eighth grade, so it evolved from a summer camp and she really enjoyed it,” Rob Perkins said. “We kind of fell into Kyle Oberhill, who’s the diving coach for (Kalamazoo College) and he manages the facilities for Western (Michigan University).

“He’s just really easy-going. (Lauren) excelled in it right away. As a freshman, she broke the school record. That kind of kept her motivated to keep going.”

Oberhill also had a workshop for parents to explain the intricacies of competitive diving, and that helped. Audrey, meanwhile, took on another sport new to her parents when she started playing volleyball in seventh grade.

“We didn’t know much about it, but the important thing to know about it is she enjoys it,” her dad said.

Rob Perkins said it would be much easier if volleyball and dive were not in the same season, but there is an upside.

“I would say, generally speaking, being in sports certainly builds their self-confidence, keeps them occupied.”

Their mother said she can see a positive influence of sports on their girls.

“I think sports have definitely improved them,” she said. “They’ve learned how to become leaders and work as a team, and I really appreciate that.

“I can see it develop in both of them over the years. Both are captains of their teams.”

And both sets of athletes said it’s important to see their parents at their games.

“It gives me more confidence,” Alex Carpenter said, “and makes me feel good that they want to see me play.” 

Pam Shebest served as a sportswriter at the Kalamazoo Gazette from 1985-2009 after 11 years part-time with the Gazette while teaching French and English at White Pigeon High School. She can be reached at [email protected] with story ideas for Calhoun, Kalamazoo and Van Buren counties.

PHOTOS: (Top) Mattawan parents Rob and Valerie Perkins cheer on their daughter Lauren during a recent swimming & diving meet. (Middle top) The Carpenters, clockwise from top left: Tim, Julie, Alex and Matthew. (Middle) The Perkins daughters, Lauren (left) and Audrey. (Middle below) Matthew, the Hackett soccer goalkeeper, looks to pass after gathering up a loose ball. (Below) Lauren Perkins dives during a meet. (Lauren Perkins head shot by Becky Anderson Photography, all other photos by Pam Shebest.) 

NFHS Voice: Respect Everyone

November 4, 2019

By Karissa Niehoff
NFHS Executive Director

Case studies have revealed that kids want to participate in high school sports because they are fun. Being a part of a team gives them an identity, a sense of self-worth and, in some cases, a reason for engaging in academics. They are included, accepted and feel like a valued member of a community.

This describes the ideal and the goal of high school sports. Fortunately, that atmosphere exists at a majority of the 19,500-plus high schools within the NFHS family. And since it is the desire of high school leadership throughout the country that these ideals continue, we are concerned about the growing decline in respect, integrity and unacceptable behavior in and around high school sports.

Racism is one of our greatest concerns nationwide. We have heard of students posting videos to social media with racist comments. We read about racial comments by team members of nearly all-white schools to opposing players from schools composed of nearly all minority students. There have been cases of white players disrespecting Native American players on the opposing team by addressing them in an unacceptable manner.

This type of behavior could be a reflection of events occurring in our society, or due to lack of a respectful environment at home. Regardless, they are not defensible reasons for the occurrence of these horrible acts within education-based high school sports and activities.

High school sports and activities exist to lift people up, not demean or tear people down. National politics or lack of role modeling by adults at home aside, coaches, administrators and other leaders in high schools nationwide must direct programs with respect, acceptance and dignity and demand the same from the school participants.

More than 50 years ago, Special Olympics began a global movement to break down barriers and end discrimination against people with intellectual disabilities. Since then, lives have been changed for the better all around the world. Many schools have implemented Unified programs in sports, performing arts and even physical education.

We must do the same for everyone. All student-athletes – regardless of race, religion, political views or gender identity – should be treated equally. As baseball Hall of Famer Jackie Robinson said, “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me. ... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”

As schools hire individuals to fill coaching positions, character must be the top prerequisite for the job. They must be guided by honesty, integrity and ethics, and they must be positive role models for students. And this is certainly not a new idea.

H. V. Porter, the first full-time executive director of the NFHS, had the following to say in 1950: “The amount of success (in improving sportsmanship) is largely dependent on the degree to which attention is constantly given to the matter by the school staff.” 

We certainly agree with Mr. Porter but also believe that everyone must pay attention. 

The NFHS has several free online education courses through the Learning Center (www.NFHSLearn.com) that can assist in establishing a program that teaches and models respect for self and respect for others. We suggest that “Teaching and Modeling Behavior,” “Sportsmanship” and “Bullying, Hazing and Inappropriate Behaviors” be required courses for everyone working with student-athletes.

High schools must establish a culture that values the worth of every single person – both players on the school’s team and players on the opposing team. There must be a no-tolerance policy regarding behavior that shows disrespect for another individual.

Kids today are looking for a community, and high school sports and activities must be that community that is fun, respectful and supportive of everyone. 

Dr. Karissa L. Niehoff is in her second year as executive director of the National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the first female to head the national leadership organization for high school athletics and performing arts activities and the sixth full-time executive director of the NFHS, which celebrated its 100th year of service during the 2018-19 school year. She previously was executive director of the Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference for seven years.