After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
Granlund's Voice Continues to Tell Story in 56th Year Serving Clarkston Schools
By
Keith Dunlap
Special for MHSAA.com
February 13, 2025
CLARKSTON — When many people think of Clarkston as a community, high school and athletic program, they understandably think of Dan Fife.
After all, Fife was a hometown hero as a standout basketball and baseball player at Clarkston High School, a college basketball player at Michigan, a professional baseball player and ultimately, the longtime boys basketball coach and athletic director who built that hoops program into a state power.
But what some might not know is that there is another prominent figure connected to the school and athletic program, one who has served the community since the year after Fife graduated from high school in 1967.
It’s hard to imagine anyone having Clarkston more in his heart and soul than Neil Granlund.
The 79-year-old Granlund has been a part of the Clarkston community since starting his teaching career in the district in 1968. He is best-known at the moment not just as an announcer within the athletic program, but as pretty much THE announcer for Clarkston athletics.
Granlund is the main announcer for contests in football, boys and girls basketball, hockey, boys and girls soccer, and track & field. He also helps out announcing for volleyball, wrestling, lacrosse and field hockey.
And those are just the high school sports within the community. Granlund also announces middle school track events.
Granlund took over the football and basketball duties in 2018 after the longtime “Voice of the Wolves,” Dale Ryan, retired. For all those years, Granlund was Ryan’s right-hand man spotting in the press box and working the clock.
When Ryan stepped away, it was a no-brainer to have Granlund take over, even if he was seemingly announcing every other sport for the school.
When Granlund stepped into Ryan’s role for football and basketball, he said Fife offered some advice.
“He gave me instructions on what to and how he wanted it done,” Granlund said. “He told me that you’re not the cheerleader. He didn’t want nicknames for the kids. Just keep it strait-laced and treat both schools fairly. I’ve always stuck to that.”
Granlund said announcing Clarkston football games when the Wolves played at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor and doing Clarkston team introductions when they advanced to championship games at Ford Field have been thrills, adding others in the community have helped make his life easier when switching from sport to sport.
“I had mediocre understanding of the sports, but I’ve had good people to work with,” he said. “In football, you are only as good as your spotter.”
Clarkston as an athletic program has had many memorable moments since 2013, whether it’s been the football team breaking through and winning Division 1 titles in 2013, 2014 and 2017, or Fife finally realizing a lifelong dream by leading the basketball team to Class A titles in 2017 and 2018.
But Granlund said the most memorable moment came during a basketball game at the old high school between Clarkston and historic archival Pontiac Northern.
Clarkston was coached by Fife, while Northern was coached by the legendary Sy Green, and the game was played before the 3-point line.
Granlund said before that game, referees told him that they couldn’t hear the buzzer on the scoreboard.
So they gave Granlund a task.
The referees gave Granlund a towel and said If the game came down to a buzzer-beating shot, Granlund would monitor the clock and the action on the court to see if the player beat the clock with his shot. Granlund would then throw the towel to the middle of the court to indicate that the shot counted.
“Sure thing, that’s what did happen,” said Granlund, adding Clarkston was down by two and attempting a game-tying shot. “Clarkston went on to tie the game. I remember when that did go off — I had that panel in front of me so I could see exactly what the time was on the clock when it had left the player’s hand — both Sy Green and Dan Fife looked at me and I gave the signal that the basket was good. That tied the game, and it went into overtime. That was exciting. Everything in that old gym was exciting.”
While that was the most memorable moment to date for Granlund at Clarkston, the one he wants to see most hasn’t happened yet.
Granlund’s biggest dream is to see the boys soccer team win a Finals championship, something it came closest to accomplishing in 2007 when the Wolves lost to East Kentwood in the Division 1 title match.
Granlund was the school’s first boys soccer coach, starting the program in 1983, and helped build it up until he stepped away as coach in 1990. But he has stayed involved as the announcer and a general supporter.
“I wish we could (win a state title) one of these days,” he said. “Having started the soccer program here, I always stuck with it.”
Even though he is nearing 80, Granlund might still be around to one day see the Wolves win that soccer championship. He still teaches a construction tech class for the high school, doing so for the same reason he still announces: He loves being around kids he says are so good to him.
Teaching also gives him an opportunity to spend more time with his grandson, who is in the class.
“He said ‘Grandpa, will you stick around for a couple more years?’” Granlund said. “I said, ‘Oh yeah.’”
As for announcing, listen for his voice to still be a fixture at Clarkston sporting events for the foreseeable future.
“For a while longer,” he said. “I really do enjoy it.”
Keith Dunlap has served in Detroit-area sports media for more than two decades, including as a sportswriter at the Oakland Press from 2001-16 primarily covering high school sports but also college and professional teams. His bylines also have appeared in USA Today, the Washington Post, the Detroit Free Press, the Houston Chronicle and the Boston Globe. He served as the administrator for the Oakland Activities Association’s website from 2017-2020. Contact him at [email protected] with story ideas for Oakland, Macomb and Wayne counties.
PHOTOS (Top) Neil Granlund, speaking into the microphone, announces during a Clarkston home basketball game. (Middle) Granlund, right, takes his place in the Michigan Stadium press box in advance of announcing Clarkston’s “Battle at the Big House” football game. (Below) Granlund narrates the action during another event at the school. (Photos by Larry Wright.)