After the Game: What do you say?
April 20, 2017
By Kevin Wolma
Hudsonville Athletic Director
“I love to watch you play.” Those are the six words a son or daughter wants to hear from his or her parents after a game.
What if your child does not play? What do you say then? Parents can’t say, “I love to watch you play” when your child does not play, nor can they say other post-competition statements like:
“Did you fight like a dog?”
“Did you have fun?”
It is hard to fight like a dog when not given the opportunity, and we all know players have more fun when they play in the game. When you google the phrase, “what to say after a game,” there are all sorts of articles written with some of them backed by research. However, when you google the phrase – “what to say when your kid does not play” – very little comes out of that search.
Why?
This is a hard and very sensitive area for most parents to come up with the right thing to say.
Before we talk about what to say in this situation, it may be more important to discuss what not to say after a game where your child does not play. Some of the comments all parents should avoid are:
“Why have you not played in the last three games? Your coach must not like you for some reason.”
“Your coach is clueless; he has no idea what he is doing.”
“You are way better than Johnny! I can’t believe he is playing more minutes than you.”
“Did you see how many mistakes Suzie made? I know if you were given the opportunity you would not make those same mistakes.”
Parents will often say these things because they are frustrated, and parents think they are comforting their child by giving them an excuse. What these comments actually do is create a divisive culture within a team. After hearing these negative comments over and over again, the athlete will eventually believe it only to see his or her attitude and effort become negatively affected over time. That athlete turns into a selfish teammate.
Now let’s put yourself in the situation where your child comes home after a game after not playing. What do you say?
The first thing you could do is talk about the game itself. Recount certain plays and make note of individuals who played well for both teams. This initial conversation takes the uncomfortable nature of the situation and sets the stage to talk about how athletes feel about not getting into the game.
There may be times when your child will not want to talk about it because he or she is upset, angry or even embarrassed. These moments of silence give the parents an opportunity to talk about the importance of being a good teammate and how an athlete can have a major impact on the team no matter what role is played. They can teach how to be the first person off the bench to congratulate or give a word of encouragement to teammates. Parents also can point out that the harder athletes work in practice, the better it is going to make the team.
In other words, we have the responsibility as parents to teach our kids the significance of living life pointed out no matter the circumstance. Living pointed out simply means to put others before yourself in everything you do. Finding ways to make the people around you the best they can be. No complaining. No excuses.
Andrew DeWitt played two years of Varsity basketball for me at Hudsonville, and he rarely had the opportunity to play. Unfortunately for him, he was a good player on two really good teams with lots of talent. He understood his role and treated practices like games – playing as hard as he could.
He would elevate the intensity of practice every day. On game nights, he was our biggest cheerleader. His impact went way beyond scoring points or getting rebounds.
Andrew’s parents were great teachers as they guided him through those tough times where it would have been easy to make an excuse or complain. Instead, they taught Andrew he could always have an influence on other people’s lives despite the role he played. What a great lesson that Andrew can carry with him for the rest of his life.
At the end of the day, one thing every parent in every situation can say that will have a positive impact is, “I love you.” Many times athletes think they are letting their parents down because of their lack of playing time. Knowing that their parents love them the same whether they play a lot or not at all has a significant impact on how the student-athlete responds to adversity, and specifically not playing in games.
I challenge all parents to use these potentially negative situations as a way to teach student-athletes valuable lessons on what it means to be a great teammate – and more importantly in teaching them to live their life pointed out. There may not be a simple six-word phrase to say when your child does not play, but there is definitely plenty to talk about.
Wolma has served as Hudsonville's athletic director since 2011 and previously coached boys varsity basketball and girls varsity golf among other teams. He also previously taught physical education and health.
Century of School Sports: MHSAA Tickets Continue to Provide Fan-Friendly Value
By
Geoff Kimmerly
MHSAA.com senior editor
February 19, 2025
A buck went a lot farther a century ago, and a family of four wishing to watch the MHSAA Class A Boys Basketball Final in 1928 could have done so, at the minimum, for a grand total of $2 – or $6 if they were looking to splurge on the best seats.
Of course, relating the value of money 100 years ago to now is not apples to apples. But for Michigan school sports, a deal like that is meant to last forever.
The MHSAA has made it part of long-standing philosophy to keep ticket prices for its tournament events as low as possible, continuing to provide opportunities for entire families to attend together, and hoping to provide the best bargain as tickets to sporting events at other levels have climbed much more rapidly over the decades.
For the sake of comparison, consider tickets over the years for the Boys Basketball Tournament – the first event hosted by the newly-created MHSAA in 1925.
In 1928 (the first year for which cost of admission could be found), ticket prices for the MHSAA Boys Basketball Finals at the Olympia in Detroit were listed at 75 cents, $1 and $1.50, and a newspaper report after noted that in fact the cheapest seats were sold for 50 cents apiece instead. One ticket was good for all four games.
Less than 30 years later, $1.50 still got a fan two championship games – reserved seats for 1955 Boys Basketball Finals at Jenison Field House cost $1.50 per session, with Class C and B Finals in the afternoon and Class A and D in the evening. A decade after that, in 1965, tickets still cost $1.50 per session – although sessions were now split into the Class B game in the morning, Class D and C games in the afternoon, and a Class A session that night.
Sixty years later, prices have continued to rise incrementally – but again, while prioritizing keeping them as low as possible.
These days for boys basketball, District tickets cost $7, Regional tickets cost $9, Quarterfinals cost $10, and Semifinals and Finals tickets cost $12 per two-game session.
On its face, that’s quite a jump from the 1960s, much less the 1920s. But consider: Multiple inflation calculators say that $1.50 ticket for two games in 1955 would be worth more than $17 for two games now, meaning MHSAA Finals ticket prices have grown at a much slower rate.
Consider as well MHSAA ticket prices against Consumer Price Index data over the last 20 years. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in 2023 that admission costs to sporting events nationally had doubled over the previous two decades – literally going up 100 percent – yet price increases for the MHSAA Boys Basketball Tournament since 2005-06 have increased just 40 percent at the District level, where 60 percent of our boys basketball tickets are sold. Ticket prices for Regionals and Finals also have grown slower than that national rate.
And it remains tough to argue with what spectators get for their money at the MHSAA Tournament level.
For the 2024-25 school year, tickets for all District and Regional competitions – and some Quarterfinals and Semifinals – remain in the $7-$9 range. Finals tickets cost $10-$12, except for Individual Wrestling Finals ($18) and 11-Player Football Finals ($20) both at Ford Field – and one ticket for those is good to watch championships in five divisions in wrestling and four football championship games over one day, respectively.
In fact, the most recent change to ticketing has had nothing to do with the price – but instead, the move away from the paper tickets you see above. All tournament tickets are now digital, which keeps the MHSAA current with what’s done in college and pro sports and other forms of entertainment and assists in efficiency by taking cash out of the equation.
Previous "Century of School Sports" Spotlights
Feb. 11: We Recognize Those Who Make Our Games Go - Read
Feb. 4: WISL Conference Continues to Inspire Aspiring Leaders - Read
Jan. 28: Michigan's National Impact Begins at NFHS' Start - Read
Jan. 21: Awards Celebrate Well-Rounded Educational Experience - Read
Jan. 14: Predecessors Laid Foundation for MHSAA's Formation - Read
Jan. 9: MHSAA Blazes Trail Into Cyberspace - Read
Dec. 31: State's Storytellers Share Winter Memories - Read
Dec. 17: MHSAA Over Time - Read
Dec. 10: On This Day, December 13, We Will Celebrate - Read
Dec. 3: MHSAA Work Guided by Representative Council - Read
Nov. 26: Finals Provide Future Pros Early Ford Field Glory - Read
Nov. 19: Connection at Heart of Coaches Advancement Program - Read
Nov. 12: Good Sports are Winners Then, Now & Always - Read
Nov. 5: MHSAA's Home Sweet Home - Read
Oct. 29: MHSAA Summits Draw Thousands to Promote Sportsmanship - Read
Oct. 23: Cross Country Finals Among MHSAA's Longest Running - Read
Oct. 15: State's Storytellers Share Fall Memories - Read
Oct. 8: Guided by 4 S's of Educational Athletics - Read
Oct. 1: Michigan Sends 10 to National Hall of Fame - Read
Sept. 25: MHSAA Record Books Filled with 1000s of Achievements - Read
Sept. 18: Why Does the MHSAA Have These Rules? - Read
Sept. 10: Special Medals, Patches to Commemorate Special Year - Read
Sept. 4: Fall to Finish with 50th Football Championships - Read
Aug. 28: Let the Celebration Begin - Read